Boyfriend said that I should stop eating pork

Dear Pastor,

I am in my 20s. I am having a problem. I have a boyfriend and we have been getting along fine, but recently he started to attend a Sabbath Church, and now he is telling me that I cannot eat pork and I have to stop attending Sunday church.

I grew up in the church I am attending now. I was christened and conformed there. I do not see why I should leave my church because of a man. My boyfriend insists that if we are going to get married, I will have to listen to him and follow his leadership. I told him that I cannot follow his leadership in everything, and I do not agree with him about what I can eat and drink. He does not have anything good to say about Sunday churches. He calls leaders of those churches ‘Antichrist’. I do not like to discuss religion with him because we are not getting anywhere. I love this man from the bottom of my heart and he knows that. The only time my father has ever flogged me was when he caught me at age 18 kissing this guy. He had accompanied me home and he walked to the door to see that I got in. I did not know that my father saw us. The guy asked me for a kiss and hugged and kissed me. By the time he let me go and I pushed the door and I went in, my father gave me three lashes with the belt. I was so shocked that I urinated on myself and ran inside. My mother had to rescue me, and she asked my father if he was crazy. The funny thing about it is that this guy and my father are the best of friends now.

Both of us are in very good jobs. I told him that if we were to get married, he could go to his church and I would go to mine, but he does not agree. My parents raise pigs and I had my own pigs. I sold them and helped myself to go to school. I did not commit any sin by owning pigs. My father still has pigs, and I would not insult my parents by telling them that raising pigs is a sin. Sometimes I wonder if this man has seen another girl in his church and is looking for an excuse to leave me. If that is what he has in mind I would allow him to go, because I am not leaving my church. We do not have any children and I would not want my children to grow up in a Sabbath Church and be told that they cannot eat pork or some types of fish.

N.A.

Dear N.A.,

I have no doubt in my mind that this guy loves you and you love him. I also believe that he means well, but he is being carried away by his religion. What he is telling you is what he is being taught at the church. I speak genuinely because it is not my intention to say anything negative about another person’s church. There are many groups that are Sabbath keepers, and what I find very annoying is that they always insist that they are the true worshippers of God, and all other churches are out of the way and they are followers of what they call the Antichrist. I do not intend to try to convince you on what decision you should make. You have already made your decision, and your boyfriend should respect your position. Right now, the both of you are unevenly yoked and he wants to change that, but he feels that the best way to do that is to condemn your church. Do not feel guilty about eating pork or going to church on Sunday. You should tell this man that you are prepared for what comes your way. If he wants to leave you for another woman, he should go in peace. Mark my words, I am not telling you to leave him, but you shouldn’t compromise your conviction to please this man. Pastor