Pregnant for the wrong man

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and I am in love with a 27-year-old man. Both of our birthdays are in December. He told me that from the time he saw me, he fell in love with me.

I saw him one day while I was waiting to take the bus. He stopped and asked me if I wanted a ride and I told him I didn’t ride with strangers. He said that after that day, we would no longer be strangers. So I got into the vehicle and he dropped me right at my gate. We exchanged numbers and that was the beginning of our relationship.

When I went home, I told my sisters about him and they told me to be careful because a man like that will have other women. This man called me every day and wanted me to meet with him. So I went out with him a couple of times. He loves fish so he took me to Port Royal. The first time we went there, I told him that I wanted one of my sisters to come with us and he agreed. Another time when he invited me out, he told me that we should go alone because we are big people. So we went alone and we found a spot and we made out, but we did not have sex.

My oldest sister warned me about him. She did not have kind things to say. I got to love him. After going out with him for six weeks, we took the relationship further and we had sex. When I asked him if he had a condom, he said he forgot to walk with it. I agreed to have sex with him but now I am pregnant, and since I told him that, he hardly calls me. I don’t know what to do. I wasn’t preparing to have a child and my sisters are reminding me that they told me to be careful with this man. My older sister called him and spoke to him and he said that he is not sure that he got me pregnant.

I cannot sleep at nights. My parents don’t even know that I am pregnant. I don’t know what to do. When he met me, he did not tell me that he has three children. It is my sister who is telling me that that is what he told her. Pastor, please, tell me what to do.

F.

Dear F.,

What I can tell you is to have your baby. This man does not mean you any good. From the time he met you, he had one thing on his mind and that was to get under your skirt. And he succeeded and has dumped you, so to speak. I repeat, have your baby. If you believe that you cannot keep the child, give him or her up for adoption. Don’t expect to get much from this man because now he is declaring that he has three children. He knew that before he had unprotected sex with you. You were naïve. But you really thought that you met a good man. He is a liar and a big one. I wish you well.

Pastor

‘I am pregnant, and since I told him that, he hardly calls me. I don’t know what to do. I wasn’t preparing to have a child and my sisters are reminding me that they told me to be careful with this man.’