Disgusting woman accusing me of incest

Dear Pastor,

I am a 36-year-old man and I have been reading your column from before I went to high school. I am the first child for my mother.

I have two siblings but their father took them from my mother because they broke up. I was fortunate to go to high school. My mother started to work with a pastor and he took me under his wings and helped me. Some people thought that he was my biological father. My mother never got married, but she was able, with the help of my grandfather, to build a house. I have been working and helping my mother.

Pastor, I fell in love with a young woman. She said that she loves me. I have no doubt in my mind that I love her but she is out of order. She wanted me to leave my mother and to come and live with her. I told her that I am not going to live in any woman’s place and she turned against my mother.

She even told people that she suspected that

I was sleeping with my mother. I could not believe that this girl would say that. She also called me a ‘maama man’ because I would wash my mother’s clothes and I clean and cook.

Every time I try to reason with her, she curses me. At the same time, she wants money from me every week. I could not continue with her so I told her that we would have to end the relationship and she said she was not surprised because what I have, my mother has it too. I know what she was saying but it is the grace of God why I did not knock her down.

When I fell in love with this girl and I told my mother, she asked me if I was sure that I knew what I was doing and I told her yes. I am still living at my mother’s home. I will leave when the time comes. Although this girl has cursed me and was disrespectful, she still wants me back. She invited me to her house and I told my mother that I was going and she warned me not to go. When I went, she tried to pull me into the bedroom and to take off my clothes. When I told her that I was not interested in having sex with her, she said she should have known better because I am not ‘hard up’. I walked out and I told her she will never see me at her house again.

I am wondering whether I can sue this girl for the things she is saying about my mother and I. It is not hard to leave her alone but it is difficult to hear her abuse my mother. Please give me your suggestion.

I.R.

Dear I.R.,

I am glad that you have been able to assist your mother. I must tell you that you should not allow what this young woman is saying about you and your mother to make you feel depressed. Yes, she has a filthy mouth and she believes that, by saying bad things about you, she can destroy your character. She is such a silly woman. You know that this woman is lying. Although you may consider it difficult to ignore her, that is exactly what you should do. It is not only just her mouth that is filthy, her heart is dirty.

You made a big mistake when you got involved with her. You must never go back to her house. She is the type of woman who would set you up and cry out and say that you attempted to rape her. So stay far away from this woman’s house and don’t try to sue her for what she has been saying about you. She will get tired and stop. Hold your head high and go about your business. Make sure that you continue to take care of your mother.

Pastor