Caught dad and the neighbour having sex

Dear Pastor,

I am 21, and at the end of this year I am going to get married. I am still living with my parents. They never got married, but my father was always promising my mother that they would.

I have carried a secret for my father since I was 17. I caught him having sex with our neighbour and he begged me not to say anything to my mother. I told him that I could not keep that as a secret. Worst of all, the neighbour and my mother were very good friends. She used to visit our home and when she was broke, my mother used to lend her money. I didn’t expect her to go to bed with my father. When I caught them having sex, it was in the

middle of the day. My father used to pay a taxi to take me to school and back. That day, before leaving school, I called the driver and asked him if he could take me home early because I was not well, and he said he would. My mother was at work. When I came home that day and realised that my father was at home, I did not think that anything was wrong. I opened the front door; it was not locked. I saw my neighbour and my father naked. She saw me first, and my father was on top of her.

This woman was so shocked, she shouted my name. My father looked back, saw me, and said, “Lord, I am in trouble.” I asked him what he was doing, because I did not know what else to say. He told me he was sorry for what he was doing, but these things do happen. He put on his shirt. The woman went into the bathroom and put on some clothes. Then my father tried to reason with me. Although I was not feeling well, I had this strange feeling come over me.

Since then, every time my mother mentions my father and other women, I don’t make any comments. She and our neighbour have remained friends. My father has always treated me well. I have two brothers. My mother always calls me my father’s pet and since I caught him having sex with our neighbour, he has given me much more than I require. Sometimes he gives me money without my mother knowing.

This lady that he was involved with has been to America many times and she brings back dresses for me. I will be leaving my parents’ home soon after I am married, and I am wondering whether I should tell my mother what I saw. Please tell me what to do.

Dear D.E.,

I believe you are asking the question whether you should tell your mother what

Do you have a problem? Is something bothering you?

Write to Tell Me Pastor, Dr Aaron Dumas, PO Box 188, King Street, Kingston. Tel: 876-929-1667-8; email: pastor@jamaica-star.com and dumas.dearpastor@gmail.com transpired between your neighbour and your father.

Perhaps you are thinking that while you are still living at your parents’ home, your father would be much more careful. But now that you are getting married and planning to leave, he would not have anybody watching over him, therefore he would carry on with this love affair.

What you witnessed was four years ago and your father begged you not to say anything to your mother, and you have not. Your father and mother have been living peacefully over these years. You have been a good daughter to both. What you need to ask yourself is this: would telling your mother now about what you saw after these four years help their relationship?

Your father has already deceived your mother, and now he is going to look at you as the deceiver and traitor. Some readers may say that you should have told your mother soon after you saw your neighbour and father making love.

I am not prepared to encourage you to divulge anything to your mother. I do not see how that would help her relationship with your father. However, I want to wish you and your husband a very happy marriage. Please let me hear from you again.

I opened the front door; it was not locked. I saw my neighbour and my father naked. She saw me first, and my father was on top of her.

Pastor