17 and addicted TO PORN
Dear Pastor,
I’m a 17-year-old teen who has a pornography addiction. I was introduced to porn right after I lost my virginity.
I started finding pleasure in porn, but after a while I stopped watching. As I grew older, my hormones started to grow out of control. I couldn’t stop myself; I used to hide and watch porn or whenever I was home alone, I went straight to the site.
After doing so, I just feel disgusted and ashamed of myself and it caused me to feel depressed sometimes. It’s really hard on me now because I’m not sexually active. It has been five months since I have had sex, but I really don’t mind not having sex because many of these men have diseases that they don’t know about.
I don’t want to watch porn any more, Pastor. I’m really ashamed and sometimes I ask God for help but I haven’t experienced any change. Maybe God is just sick and tired of me disappointing Him. I really want to overcome this addiction, Pastor; please tell me what to do.
A.
Dear A.,
I appreciate that you are reaching out for help and I want to say to you, please do not condemn yourself because you got into the habit of looking at pornographic films.
Some adults have control over this habit. For example, some couples enjoy looking at porn and they even put into practice some of the things that they see. Some women say that they have learned a lot from what they have seen other women do with their men. Some claim that there is hard and soft porn. All I am saying is, do not condemn yourself because you got into the habit of watching pornographic films.
You are 17 but you did not say at what age you became sexually active. But if you want to stop looking at porn, you may block the website from your devices such as computer or your handset. Whenever there is a temptation to look at porn, engage yourself in doing something else. You can lock yourself out of the site. If you find that the desire to look at porn is overbearing, you should consider making an appointment to see a counsellor or call a good friend to talk to you about important things.
Again, I will say, do not condemn yourself. You have not been sexually active for the past five months. Pray and ask the Lord to help you overcome illicit sex, including pornography. God is able to help you. You are very young so be very careful how you share your problems about pornography with others. Even your closest friend may tell his or her close friend about what you are going through. Only speak to a professional about your struggles. I hope you understand what I am trying to say. You know by experience that watching porn has negatively affected you. So go to see a counsellor and discuss the matter. Some people might not understand that you are going through a phase in life that you will overcome. I will be praying for you.
Pastor
I’m really ashamed and sometimes I ask God for help but I haven’t experienced any change.