My cunning mother-in-law ‘bunning’ her country man

Dear Pastor,

It is midnight and I am up trying to get this mail written to send to you. I listen to you every night, and I am an avid reader of your column.

I cannot say that I always agree with you; sometimes people say that you take the side of women. Women are very tricky and they should not always be trusted or believed.

I am living with my babymother. She was not working while she was pregnant. I supported her in every way. She used to tell me how much she loved me and she would never let me down. After she had the baby, her mother, who lived in the country, came and stayed with her to help her. After three months, I asked my babymother when her mother would be leaving. She told me that she was not ready to ask her to leave as yet. I told her it was time for her to leave because she has a man and the man was alone in the country.

I did not know that the mother had a boyfriend in Kingston and that the man used to visit her while I was at work. This is a big woman. Her man in the country telephoned me and told me to ask her to come home. I said it to my babymother and she confided in me that her mother did not want to go back to this man. Furthermore, there is a man in Kingston who had been encouraging her mother to come and live with him. I asked my babymother if she agreed to that. said she was not against it because the man in rural Jamaica was a farmer, and life was very difficult with him.

I told my baby mother that I was giving this woman one week to leave and if she doesn’t leave at the end of the week, I would have to tell the man in the country that she has a new man in Kingston. My babymother was upset with me and accused me of not wanting her mother to make progress in life. When she said that to me, I realised that I had got involved with the wrong type of people. At the end of the week, I told the lady that she should go home, and instead of going home to the man in the country, she left and went to a man in the hills of St Andrew.

She wants to use being here as a cover for her dirty deeds.

This is a big woman giving the man in the country ‘bun’. The boyfriend that she is sleeping with is about 40 years old. I told my child’s mother that I am going to tell the man the truth if he calls me again, and my child’s mother told me that I should leave her mother alone. She said it is not my business. So, you see how some women are dangerous.

V.

Dear V.,

I think I can safely say that no man should swear for a woman, and no woman should swear for a man. Your child’s mother should not have been encouraging her mother to become sexually involved with this man who lives somewhere in St Andrew.

She is a deceiver. She came to assist your woman with the baby, and that is not unusual. Many mothers assist their young daughters after they have had a child. They are young mothers and they need the help. But her daughter should have told her that she should return to rural Jamaica. What she is doing is deceiving her man.

I have to say that your mother-in-law is not a good woman, and I urge you to put your foot down and tell your child’s mother that her mother should not return to your house and to use your place to cover up of her wrong doing. Even if your child’s mother disagree with you, stand your ground and remember that you are in charge of your house.

Your child’s mother needs to come to her senses and realise that you are expecting her to do the same thing to you in time to come.

Pastor