Boyfriend no longer has time for me

I told him that if he does not make time for me, I am going to move on because I find myself worrying about him.

Dear Pastor,

I am 31 years old and my boyfriend is 26. He looks much older than his age.

But when my father asked me how old was he, I told my father the truth and he told me that he would have preferred to see me with an older man because these young guys don’t always treat women well. I told my father that my boyfriend is different and he respects me. My father said that he knew what he was saying.

Recently, my boyfriend got a new job and he got involved with two women who were working at the company. He was their supervisor. The job got to his head; he did not have any time for me. I spoke to him about it and he said the job is very stressful and he doesn’t want me to add more stress to his life. I told him that if he does not make time for me, I am going to move on because I find myself worrying about him. He never used to drink or smoke, but he started doing both. We used to go to church together but he started to find excuses why he can’t go to church any more.

I met another man and I started to go out with him, but I told my boyfriend what I was doing and he called the man and threatened him. I told my boyfriend that he was crazy because this man can cause him to lose his job. He said no man is going to take me away from him. I told him that is true, no man would take me away from him, but I am going to take away myself. I cannot tell when last my boyfriend and I went out together.

He is always so busy. My birthday was in December and he neither called me nor bought a gift.

On New Year’s Day, I called him and asked him why I did not hear from him and he said he had forgot it was my birthday. This other man that I have been seeing remembered and he bought me a very expensive gift and promised to marry me whenever I have ended the relationship with my present boyfriend. I am giving my boyfriend another month to change his ways; otherwise I am going to leave him. What do you say about that?

B.S.

Dear B.S.,

I do not like when a woman gives a man an ultimatum. But I am not here to tell you that you were wrong because when a man is so busy that he cannot find time to be with his girlfriend, he is too busy.

Something else is taking up his time. He is occupied somewhere or by another person. Perhaps your father saw something in this young man that he did not like. I have often said, parents are not always wrong, but parents are not always right either.

How can this guy forget your birthday?

It is a very important date in one’s life. He probably remembered, but he was occupied elsewhere. Be careful, even in the relationship that you are now having with this other man. Don’t be in such a hurry to make any commitment to him.

I wish you well.

Pastor