I think DAD got my FRIEND pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I will be 20 in August. My parents are married, but my mother is in America.

She has been there for a little while because of illness. My father and I get along very well. We have a worker who comes in three times per week. My father cooks for himself and I cook for myself. Sometimes my grandmother comes by and when she is here, she cooks. My father and grandmother are very close. Even when my mother and father had disagreements, my grandmother always took my father’s side, so it didn’t make any sense for my mother to complain to her.

I have a very good friend and sometimes she visits us. She is 18. From she started coming here, I knew that my father liked her. I asked her if she likes my father and she said yes. I reminded her that my father is a married man. She told my father what I said to her and my father told me that I shouldn’t put that into the girl’s head. I told him that I did not put anything into her head; I just reminded her that he is married.

One day, she called me and told me she was coming over and I said “Fine”. When I got home, she was already there and she and my father were in his bedroom. She looked guilty when I saw her and her hair was all messed up. I felt that my father and this girl had sex. My father cooked and we ate and I was feeling tired, so I fell asleep. I woke up about 2 a.m. and she was sitting on the bed. I asked her what was wrong and she said she couldn’t sleep. I asked her if her conscience was bothering her and she said no. I fell asleep and at daybreak, she was still sleeping. I had breakfast and left for work. Later in the day, I called her and she was still at the house with my father.

I notice that she does not call me as often; I have to call her. One day she told me that she is not doing well and she had something to say. She told me that she is pregnant by my father. She said that my father was encouraging her to get rid of the pregnancy or give the child to her boyfriend. But she knows that her boyfriend did not get her pregnant because whenever they have sex, they use protection. She had sex with my father three times and they did not use anything. I told her I did not want to hear anything more. I told my father what she said and he said she told him the same thing, but he is begging me not to tell my mother anything. He is not sure that he got my friend pregnant.

Every day my father is begging me not to tell my mother that he got involved with this girl. I love my father so much, but how can I keep this matter a secret? Please tell me what to do.

S.M.

Dear S.M.,

I would suggest that you encourage your father to inform your mother that he got your friend pregnant.

It is his duty to tell your mother. You don’t have to say anything, but you have to be prepared to be questioned by your mother. She would want to know if you were aware that he was having an affair with your friend. Of course you could always say that you suspected and that you warned both of them that they were playing with fire, so to speak.

If your father indeed got this girl pregnant, a DNA test will prove whether or not he is the father of the child she is carrying.

Pastor

She had sex with my father three times and they did not use anything. I told her I did not want to hear anything more.