Trying hard to get PREGNANT

“I’m beginning to worry because it has been three months that I have not been on contraceptives and I have not got pregnant”

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you, and I hope that you will write to me back. I am 19 years old. When I was attending high school I wanted to become a nun. I admired the work that the nuns used to do, but as I grew older and moved around with some of my friends, I considered that that type of work was not for me.

I gave up my virginity when I was 16 years old. I had no one to blame but myself. A couple of my girlfriends planned a sleepover. We met together to study and we said that we would sleep over. My parents called the parents of the girl whose house we would sleep over and they said yes, they have enough room for all of us. They made it into a little party. The girl’s mother cooked and had enough for all four of us girls.

What I did not know is that two of the girls invited their boyfriends to join us. They came, but left after we ate.

We had a good time and promised that we will do so again. So we planned another sleepover. This time the girls encouraged me to invite my boyfriend. I could not let my parents know that there were guys there with us the first time, neither could I let them know that this guy who likes me was going to be there.

My friends paired up after a certain time, and that included me. My boyfriend was 18 and I was 16 and a half years old. When my friend’s parents went to bed, we took the opportunity to do our own thing. My boyfriend took my virginity. The only good thing about this guy is that we are still together. He is doing his second degree at university. He calls me his wife. My folks love him and will do anything for him. He is very, very respectful to my parents, and we are hoping to get married. He has stopped me from using contraceptives; and I love him so much that I have stopped. However, I’m beginning to worry because it has been three months that I have not been on contraceptives and I have not got pregnant.

Don’t you think that something is wrong? I asked my boyfriend why I have not got pregnant yet and he said I should not be in a hurry. I am wondering whether I am barren.

Dear N.,

You shouldn’t be in a hurry to get pregnant. It is likely that that would eventually happen. You should talk to your gynaecologist about your concern. Whether or not you get pregnant now, I hope your boyfriend and you will get married, and that he will not end the relationship with you if you do not get pregnant soon.

I wish both of you well.

Pastor