Former schoolmate says my boyfriend wants her

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and I am in a relationship. My boyfriend is 23 years old, but I am very concerned about our situation because I have found out that he had a relationship with one of my former schoolmates.

I did not know that he knew her, but recently we had a little gettogether for one of our teachers who was leaving the island, so my boyfriend took me. I was so glad to see my friend. When I introduced him to her, she said she has known him for a long time, and then he explained to me later on in the evening that she is one of the girls he used to sleep with. I said “Sleep with?” And he said yes, she is an exgirlfriend, but he hasn’t seen her in about two years and there is nothing going on between them now.

After a few days, I called the girl and asked her if they are still seeing each other and she said no, but he is always calling her and encouraging her to meet with him. She said he told her that he has a girlfriend, but they can still meet and have a good time because his girlfriend wouldn’t have to know that. She said she was glad that she never accepted his invitation. He told her that one woman is not enough for him.

I feel so disappointed in this man, because I have got to know his people and they like me. He lives with his aunt and she has allowed me to stay with him on many weekends. He said that my former schoolmate is not speaking the truth, and that she is just jealous because she saw us together. But I believe my former schoolmate. I have never gone into this man’s phone. Perhaps if I were that type of girl, I would have found out that he used to be with her.

Anytime this man and I meet, we have sex; he is never tired when it comes to that. I always give him what he wants because I don’t want him to stray. Sometimes he has sex with me three times in one night, and then he makes me breakfast and has sex with me again. I have never pulled myself away from him or rejected him. But what hurts me is to know that he is still trying to have sex with my former schoolmate. Since I was told that he used to have sex with her, my mind has changed from him, although I still love him.

I am working. I don’t have to depend on him for anything. Occasionally we buy each other gifts. I think I am going to break up this relationship, because I don’t want to have sex with many men. I don’t think I can deal with that. So, give me your advice; and I thank you.

H.S.

Dear H.S.,

How can you be very sure that your former schoolmate is speaking the truth?

Don’t you believe that she was indeed happy to see you, but a little jealousy crept in when she realised that her former boyfriend and you are having an intimate relationship? She said that this man is always calling her and inviting her out, but she is always turning him down. I don’t think that what you heard from the young woman is enough to end the relationship with your present boyfriend. You know for sure that he loves to have sex, but loving sex does not mean that he would go with every woman he knows.

You say that you are thinking of ending the relationship with him because you do not want to be used. I am only suggesting that you give the relationship a little more time, because if he is speaking the truth you will find out.

Pastor

She said he told her that he has a girlfriend, but they can still meet and have a good time because his girlfriend wouldn’t have to know that.