Rape survivor determined TO SUCCEED

As the scars of sexual violence run deep, Kim*, a victim of rape, continues to defy the odds and rise above the darkness.

She was only 15 when she was raped; however, despite the mental and physical challenges, she used her misfortune to propel her into achieving amazing things. Now 25, she is a final-year university honour roll student, pursuing a bachelor’s degree in psychology. She vividly recalls the incident that took place in the Kingston community in which she resided. About 11 p.m., she was walking home from a shop where her mother sent her to purchase rice. A man who she didn’t recognise started calling out to her.

“I decided to ignore him and continue my journey because in a community like mine that was the safest thing to do, or so I thought,” she said. “He started to tell me how good I looked and asked for my number repeatedly, but I declined giving it to him because I did not know him.” What followed was her worst nightmare. About five minutes from home, the man held her up and directed her towards an abandoned house. Gripped with fear, she didn’t scream for fear of being killed. Upon reaching the building, the man instructed her to take off her

clothes.

“I kept hoping that he would have a change of mind. I even offered to give him my number and not tell anyone what he tried to do if he let me go. But he only repeated that I should take off my clothes. I eventually gave in, and my nightmare began,” she said. After having his way with her for what felt like an eternity, he left her alone and naked. After dragging herself home, as she saw her mother, Jane*, the tears flowed.

“My mom and I have a great relationship even to this day, so when I started crying, she immediately knew something was wrong and started to ask me questions. But at this point, I could barely construct a proper sentence. I kept remembering all the stories I’ve heard about rape victims, some of whom weren’t as fortunate as me and

were killed by their rapists, and this just made me cry harder,” she said. It took a few hours before she could tell what happened. To this day, Jane blames herself for what happened.

“If I didn’t send her on the road so late then she would not have been raped. But I was just thinking that the shop is so close to home. I wasn’t thinking that would have happened to my baby. And what hurts is that even though we reported the incident, the rapist was not caught,” she said. Kim admitted that she is still hurt about what happened.

“I know a lot of girls have gone through the same thing, some not as strong as me, but I’m thankful for the support system. I have accomplished so much, and I think it’s because I wanted to show myself that I could rise above it all,” she said. “I was a few months away from going in grade 11 when the incident took place, and instead of letting it define me, I decided to focus on my schoolwork even more. As a result, I graduated high school with eight CXCs.”

Many rape cases are not reported because the victims feel ashamed and hopeless. This is one of the main reasons that Kim wanted to tell her story.

“I want girls like me, and even boys too, to know that it will get better, and it is not their fault. I spent a lot of time blaming myself. But with years of therapy, I only blame the perpetrator for what he did to me,” Kim said.

She said that deciding to continue with school was not always easy.

“I still have days when I wish it did not happen and wonder if my life would have turned out differently. But, I know that I can’t change the past. The only thing I have control over is the outcome of my future,” she said. Her goal is to pursue a career as a guidance counsellor at an inner-city school because she wants to be an inspiration.

“Look at me, a ghetto girl who was raped, soaring above all odds despite every obstacle that was thrown my way. It was not the easiest journey, but I did it so others can as well, and with my help,” she said. “I know that God placed me on earth to do amazing things. I am supposed to help others, so I chose a career path that would ensure that I do just that.”

*Names changed to protect the identity*

Many rape cases are not reported because the victims feel ashamed and hopeless. This is one of the main reasons that Kim wanted to tell her story.