Son caught us having sex

Dear Pastor,

I am 26 years old and the mother of a threeyear-old son. He has his own room, which is next to our room.

We often lock the door that separates his room from ours. But occasionally we forget. One evening, we put him to bed and his father and I were making love. We did not realise that our son woke up and came into our room and saw us making love. He started to beat up his father telling him to ‘get off mommy’. His father stopped and told him to go back to his room, but he started to cry. I tried to cover myself, but his father could not cover up. So the boy saw both of us naked, and I had to hug him and take him to his room. It was such an embarrassment because the room was not dark. The lights were not bright, but he could still see his father in the nude and see my nakedness.

Do you think that what he saw would affect him? We have taught him to always knock on our door before entering, but we have ourselves to blame. I never wanted our son to see us having sex. I feel so guilty. We told him not to tell anybody what he saw, but you know how children are; they cannot keep their mouths.

Y.H.

Dear Y.H.,

What you are trying to tell me is that your child’s father and you were very careless.

But I don’t want to condemn you. It was a big mistake to be in the nude making love with your man. Perhaps your son was asleep, but the noise that you and this man were making woke him up. Perhaps he also enjoys coming into your bed from time to time. Some children love to crawl into their parents’ bed while they are asleep.

The boy came into your room and saw his father on you and thought that he was hurting you, not understanding that both of you were providing pleasure for each other. I sympathise with you, and I hope that this kind of mistake will never be made again. You need not worry that what your son saw would affect him negatively, but a three-year-old will not forget.

Make sure in the future that you lock your door, and make sure if you and your man are making love, don’t do so in the nude. And don’t disturb your son by making noise during the process.

Pastor

“The lights were not bright, but he could still see his father in the nude and see my nakedness.”