BOYFRIEND PRESSURING ME FOR SEX
“He says that he is my husband, and my vagina is going to ‘dry up’ if I don’t do anything about it.”
Dear Pastor,
Please accept greetings in Jesus’ name. I hope you are doing well. I am doing fine.
I hope that you would take some time to give me your advice. I am a 19-year-old virgin but I have a boyfriend. He says that he loves me and he would like us to get married. I like him, too, but the request that he is making of me, I have not made up my mind to grant him that request. I go to church and I teach a Sunday school class; my students look up to me. I am also attending evening classes because I want to further my studies.
My boyfriend is a hard worker. His sisters and I are good friends and they attend the church I attend, but my boyfriend does not attend church. He is always making excuses. He loves to party. He says that he has to enjoy his young days.
I don’t attend parties, and his sisters are like me. We go out on church trips sometimes. Every year our church plans our beach trip and my boyfriend wants to attend, but I don’t encourage him to attend. His sisters told me that there is a girl who they know who likes him, and they warned me to be careful. I told my parents that he likes me and my parents told me that although he is from a good family, he is an unbeliever, and I can expect anything from an unbeliever.
We have been going together for two years and he is begging me for sex. I told him that I am keeping my virginity for my husband. He says that he is my husband, and my vagina is going to ‘dry up’ if I don’t do anything about it. I have never heard of a woman’s vagina drying up if she doesn’t have sex and she is not an old woman. I like him very much. Sometimes he offers me money, but I don’t take it because
I know what he is after. I did not do very well in school, but I have gone back to school and I am doing very well. I would like to be a school teacher. So I am working very hard to get more subjects. Everywhere I turn, men are after me; even at the school I am attending, one of the male teachers told me that he loves me. I told him to forget me because I have a boyfriend. This teacher does not have a good reputation; that is what I was told. He said both of us are adults and I am over 16, so our love affair would be between us. I don’t even love this man; at least my boyfriend is handsome. My teacher cannot be described as a handsome man and he is short, and I don’t like short men anyhow.
I would like to remain a virgin as long as it is possible to do so.
C.A.
Dear C.A.,
Let me put it this way to you. One cannot stop birds from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from making a nest on it.
It is natural for men to admire women and for women to admire men, but it is not every man who admires you that you should have a relationship with. You gave me the impression that you liked this young man whose sisters and you are good friends and attend the same church. He is a man who only wants to have fun. He loves his parties. He knows that you are in school, and although he would love for both of you to get married in the future, he is talking nonsense when he says he is your husband. That is only ‘man talk’. He does not even attend church, so right now you shouldn’t even consider him as your future mate, because the Bible says “two cannot walk together unless they be agreed”. It also says that “a Christian should not be unequally yoked to an unbeliever”.
Concerning the ‘drying up’ of a woman’s vagina, he is trying to tell you that your vagina will dry up or will have no use if you don’t have sex with him. That is enough to chase him away from you. Let him know that you are not a fool.
I wish you well in school. Study hard. Pass your examinations, go on to college, and keep in touch with me. Tell me about your progress. Bye-bye, young lady.
Pastor