Man not flattered by his gf’s ‘tattoo’
Dear Abby: I really like this guy named “Gary.” He’s super sweet, funny, cute and just incredible. He’s my brother’s friend.
I’m in sixth grade and he’s in fifth. I think he might like me back. He asked me to follow his new Instagram account, and when I told him to tell my brother hi, he stared at me for a few seconds longer (plus he was smiling the whole time). One of my girlfriends sort of likes him, too.
What do I do? How do I tell him I like him? Is it OK for me to ask him to go to the park? His brother and my brother could go, too. Please help me. What do I do?
— Girl In El Paso, Texas
Dear Girl: If Gary wants you to follow his Instagram account, it’s a pretty good sign that he has positive feelings for you. If you want to ask him to go to the park, and your parents don’t mind, go ahead and do it. But let me offer a couple of suggestions:
If you ask him, do include your brother and his brother because being with others will make it more fun. And, everybody loves a compliment. The compliment doesn’t have to be as blatant as “I like you,” which could embarrass some boys his age. A simple, “I think you’re great because (you’re really smart, you’re good at sports, you’re fun to be around, etc.)” should do the trick.
Dear Abby: For the last seven years I have been in a long-distance relationship. I see him every three months. He is divorced and a workaholic. I love him very much, and he says he also loves me.
I had put a tattoo of his name on my hip. This time when he visited, I showed it to him. When I did, he was shocked. He said he was flattered, but thought it was “a bit much.” Then he said he would never tattoo someone’s name on himself unless he first asked permission.
I told him that I really love him, and even if something happened and we broke up for some reason that it was all right. I said I am 60 years old, and it was my body and my decision, and that I did it for myself because I will never love another man the way I love him.
Abby, do you think I should have asked him first? Do you think maybe he doesn’t love me as much as he says he does? Please help me understand this.
— Tattoo in San Diego
Dear Tattoo: You are an adult, and at age 60 you should not have to ask anyone’s permission to get a tattoo. If, after seven years, you see this man only every three months, it should be plain by now that he’s not interested in a closer relationship.
Most men would be flattered that you got the tattoo, unless they were afraid it might somehow reveal that you are lovers. Are you absolutely sure this man is divorced? Your situation is so peculiar that it’s time you did some double-checking. Better late than never.