By Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby Teen who raised her siblings gets no respect from adults
Dear Abby: I’m 18. I started helping to take care of children at the age of 2. I have taken care of them alone since I was 7. Yet every time older people talk about child care, I am rudely excluded from the conversation with comments like, “You don’t know what we’re talking about. You’re not a parent.” And, “You’re just a kid. You only THINK you know what you’re talking about.” I even get these kinds of comments from people who have asked me for advice. I know it shouldn’t bother me, yet it does. After raising my younger siblings by myself and taking care of the house, is it wrong for me to consider myself a parent?
— Practically a parent Dear practically a parent: No, in my opinion it isn’t. Of this I am certain: You have more parenting experience than the adults who left a 7-year-old caring for her siblings by herself without supervision. According to the law, that qualifies as child neglect and abuse.
Dear Abby: I have a 6-year-old son, “Tyler,” from a previous relationship. I have been dating a man I’ll call Chad for almost four years.
My problem is, Chad can’t seem to have any kind of relationship or interaction with Tyler. Chad isn’t abusive, but he constantly ignores my boy and gives him no attention. I thought after all this time Chad would be used to my son, but it hasn’t happened. Sometimes he seems annoyed when Tyler is in the same room. I’m not sure if I should end the relationship or stick around. Any advice would be helpful.
— Losing hope Dear losing hope: Your first responsibility is to your son. The way Chad treats Tyler will eventually damage the boy’s self-esteem if it hasn’t already. Children are perceptive. When they are ignored, they know something is wrong and think it’s their fault — that there’s something wrong with them and that they don’t measure up. My advice is to tell Chad the romance is over and why. Frankly, you should have done it years ago.
Dear Abby: I admit I’m a loud snorer. However, I was on a plane recently, flying home after an exhausting trip. I fell asleep and my seatmate repeatedly woke me to complain about my snoring. Shouldn’t the woman have let me sleep in peace if she saw that I was genuinely tired? What made her needs greater than mine?
— Trying to sleep Dear trying to sleep: Not knowing the woman, it’s hard to say. Perhaps your seatmate felt entitled to a quiet flight and your snoring was so disruptive that, even with earphones, she could concentrate on nothing else. I suppose she could have asked the flight attendant to change her seat, but if the flight was fully booked she probably woke you because she wasn’t inclined to suffer from coast to coast.
P.S. I would be remiss in my responsibility as an advice columnist if I didn’t urge you to discuss your snoring with your doctor. It could be a symptom of sleep apnea, a condition that is very serious.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.