By Abigail Van Buren Cancer patient discusses too much detail in public
Dear Abby: A dear friend has been battling cervical cancer. Her condition has left her dependent on a colostomy bag. She’s not shy about discussing it on Facebook and in public, where she speaks loudly. I have tried to be understanding and supportive, but there are limits.
My problem is, she’s hell-bent on making sure I see this colostomy bag by frequently checking to see if it’s full, even after returning from the bathroom where I’m certain she checked it. More recently, we were at a restaurant and she exposed her bag in full view of others while they were eating. (The bag was full!) Not only was it disgusting, it’s also unhygienic should the bag become disconnected or rupture. Am I insensitive for thinking this is inappropriate and that she should excuse herself to go to the bathroom?
— Nauseated in Michigan
Dear nauseated: No, I don’t think you are insensitive. While a colostomy bag is nothing to be ashamed of, because it involves human waste, decorum dictates that it be kept away from the dining table. Have a frank talk with your friend, tell her her behavior is inappropriate, and ask her not to do it in front of you.
Dear Abby: I have a question about resumes. Over the last six years -- from the ages of 18 to 24 -- I have worked three jobs. One was full-time, two were parttime and each lasted two years. (They were baking at a local bakery, serving at a restaurant and being a file clerk.)
Now that I have my nursing degree, should I mention my previous employment on my resume when applying for a nursing position? I don’t want it to look like I can’t make up my mind when it comes to employment, but I also don’t want it to appear like I have never worked a day in my life. Thoughts?
— Wants to be a nurse
Dear wants to be a nurse: If you list your dates of prior employment — as well as the date you received your nursing degree — it should be apparent that you were working toward your nursing degree all along. Before you are hired, you will be personally interviewed, which will give you the opportunity to not only explain what you have to offer, but also point out that your resume reflects that you’re a hard worker. That’s important information, and you should use all of your “ammunition” to land the job you’re looking for.
Dear Abby: During the last year, a female friend of mine has started suggesting that she wants more from our relationship than just a friendship. She has had a history of doing this whenever she becomes friends with a guy.
When she started sending me pictures that became more and more suggestive, I decided to distance myself from her. But in the last month, she has been getting increasingly bold with her advances. How do I handle this without hurting her?
— Friend and nothing more in Iowa
Dear friend: Tell your friend you like her, but what she has been doing is making you increasingly uncomfortable. Be direct about saying you are not interested in a sexual relationship with her. Then, if she persists, continue to distance yourself from her.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.