— Conflicted in California

Dear conflicted: Pierre has given you fair warning and so have your parents. Marriage exists in France just as it does here in the USA. That Pierre doesn’t believe in it should be an indication that the two of you have very different definitions of what a committed relationship is, and it may be partly cultural in nature. How do you feel about that?

I think it’s sad that the parents of a 34-year-old woman would threaten to cut her off if she decided to have a child without being married. If you can support one, that choice should be yours and not theirs. My advice is to stop dreaming about a romantic wedding with your father walking you down the aisle unless you can find a man with a different view of commitment than Pierre appears to have.

Dear Abby: I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. We are the same age and have children from previous marriages. His are teenagers, and I have twin boys at home who are 6. Early on we discussed blending our families.

Although he has been eager to be a part of my life and my family, he has been less than enthusiastic about opening up his own life to me. He takes vacations with his children and leaves me out. He also travels alone to places we have discussed going to together. If I say anything, he accuses me of being selfish. But if I plan anything with my own children, he always expects to be included.

I’m getting fed up with it. I feel resentful living on the fringes of his world, while he expects to be at the center of mine. Am I selfish, or do I have a legitimate complaint?