Congratulations, cabbage! May the same apply to fatteh and masgouf!

In my name and on behalf of heritage lovers who are close to me, we do extend our heartiest congratulations to ‘cabbage’, because it is about to be classified as part of heritage by UNESCO, and thus a cabbage dish will be treated just like all other monuments protected by UNESCO in Iraq and Syria, ones that were shattered to dust right before their eyes while they did nothing but blueprint them in 3D, hoping to rebuild them someday. Seeing those monuments will be more like watching a 3D movie and we will imagine that we are actually touring them, then laugh at what we did once the movie finishes.

The BBC said UNESCO was about to add the famous Korean dish kimchi (pickled cabbage) to a list of cultural heritage items. We congratulate them and beg their pardon for not congratulating them when they were awarded the title, because we were busy watching the winged bull statue in Iraq and Palmyra monuments in Syria turn into ashes. However, this is no excuse for us, because the living are more important than the dead. What if stone monuments that have existed for thousands of years get destroyed, compared to a hot delicious spicy and sour dish of cabbage?!

To avoid being taken lightly in what I am saying about kimchi, this particular dish has had many privileges that many people did not. In 2008, it was taken into space by a South Korean astronaut. Therefore, UNESCO ought to give due care to cabbage even more than it ever gave to our destroyed monuments. It should appoint a special guard to each and every cabbage dish to protect it from theft or being vandalized. Who knows, someone might intrude in somebody’s cabbage dish in a restaurant after seeing nicesmelling steam coming out and reach out to steal a bite!

It would also be a disaster if cabbage crops were damaged by the same frost and blizzards killing refugees in camps they have been displaced into. What if cabbage crops die out? Will the Koreans make the same dish using frozen cabbage? If they did, will UNESCO protect frozen cabbage as well? The situation is very dangerous and calls for immediate action, because as we know, North Korea has nuclear powers.

I wish the UNESCO would, besides protecting Iraqi and Syrian monuments, protect two famous Arab dishes - fatteh in the Levant and masgouf fish in Iraq.