ONLINE DATING GAINING IN POPULARITY, BUT BEWARE OF THE RISKS
Almost three in 10 Malaysians have tried it. As the stigma around Internet dating fades, it’s easier than ever to find a date. Experts say the trend will continue as more websites pop up. AUDREY VIJAINDREN writes
“WHEN I open my eyes in the morning, I think of how nice it’d be to see you. When I go to sleep at night, I want to hold your hand. When there’s a significant moment in my life, I want to celebrate it with you. Do you ever think about me too? It’s me, the woman who wants to fall in love with you... and I hope you'll love me too.”
That’s just one of the many catchy hook-up pitches from dating apps that are taking the world of romance by storm.
It has been reported that more than 50 per cent of Malaysians know at least one couple who met online.
YouGov research reveals the scale of the phenomenon in Malaysia: as many as 29 per cent of Malaysians have used Internet and online dating apps. This rises to a third among millennials.
Yet six in 10 millennials said they would be embarrassed to admit that they met their partner through online dating platforms. A fifth of baby boomers (those born between 1946 and 1965) said the same. However, 45 per cent of all respondents said they would not think of a couple that met online any differently.
YouGov, an international data and analytics group, offers data derived from a panel of five million people worldwide. For this survey, online data was collected between Sept 11 and 28 this year, with a sample size of 1,058.
Online dating has its advantages, says Lunch Actually Group chief executive officer and cofounder Violet Lim.
She says in the past, single people expanded their social circle through friends, family, the workplace or other social settings. And it would be a challenge if these options were exhausted and they were yet to meet someone or if the single person was not extroverted enough to easily strike up a conversation with someone they had just met.
Lim says it has never been easier to start connecting with people around the world because singles now have a lot of options, and online dating allows people to get to know other singles that they otherwise may not ever meet.
“Online dating may be convenient, but it can be frustrating because you never know whether the person you’re talking to is really who they claim to be.
“With Lunch Actually, which is an offline service, clients can feel safe and secure because we meet and screen each member and verify their identities before we sign them up and send them on dates.
“One reason many singles like our service is because they enjoy privacy and confidentiality.
“Other than their dating consultant and their date, nobody else needs to know that they have signed up with a dating service.
“On the other hand, with online matchmaking sites, you often have to put up your photo and profile for all to see.”
A survey found that online dating platforms Malaysia Social, Malaysian Cupid and Tinder were the favourites in Malaysia, all scoring among the highest for fame and respectability.
Approximately six in 10 respondents have heard of these services. Of the three platforms, Malaysia Social has the best reputation among those who have used online dating services, with 37 per cent saying it is considered respectable.
Services that are least recognised by respondents are also seen as the least respectable, suggesting that popularity is key to success in the Malaysian online dating market. The lowest scorers in fame and respectability include Happn, Skout and Twoo.
With nearly three in 10 Malaysians saying they would rather meet their future partner online than offline, it shows that Internet dating platforms have come a long way in shaking off the stigma against them.
Lim says having more options may not always be better for success in romance, because with too many choices, people may not know who to choose or focus on.
“At the end of the day, it really depends on the individual.
“I believe there is no one size fits all approach in dating.
“Some singles prefer having more options and photos before deciding to go on a real date, while others may find that having many options is a bad thing and prefer having a consultant to do all the work for them.”
Lim encourages singles to keep an open mind and take proactive efforts to expand their social circle.
“Doing it through online dating is just one way. Some people like it because it’s convenient.
“Online dating also has its challenges. My advice is to know what platform to use, depending on what you’re looking for.
“Casual daters can use certain sites that are different than those used by serious daters, so do a bit of research and know your platform.
“However, for those who are looking for love online, remember that real connection only happens when you meet someone in real life. So your
objective should be to move from online to offline as soon as possible.”
Lim says a common fear about online dating is the lack of verification for profiles on most sites.
“However, some online dating websites or apps cater to more serious singles, like our esync and LunchClick.
“We conduct verification for everyone who joins to make sure they are single.
“Other sites like eHarmony, Match.com and Coffee Meets Bagel also have a reputation for having more genuine singles.
“Ultimately, it’s not that it’s hard to date. Remember to view online dating as a platform for you to start knowing someone new, but focus on getting to know them better through face-to-face conversations and a real date.
“Also, because of the abundance of matches from online dating, many singles are getting very picky or tend to be super judgmental.
“They easily reject matches for superficial reasons. Sometimes, those expectations are purely superficial and do not necessarily contribute to compatibility.
“I’m not saying lower your standards. I’m not saying don’t have any parameters. What I’m saying is be more open minded. When you have too many filters, you’re limiting your chances.”
Lim cautions that if you agree to meet in real life someone you met on online dating sites or apps, always meet in a public place, and the most casual time of the day is lunch.
“Meet over lunch and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. If you don’t feel comfortable, you can always excuse yourself by saying you need to head back to the office.
“With the rise of online dating, we see an increase of love scams worldwide as well.
“More and more unsuspecting singles have been taken advantage of and cheated of their money. Do take note and do not fall prey to scammers.”