Choosing a helper
She fills in for me during my absence. My helper essentially has become the person that I trust my precious children and my home to, a personal assistant of sorts.
Of course, ideally, I’d love it if she could manage all the mundane things in my life so that I’m freed from those chores to reach for and achieve my higher goals in life. It’d be nice to relinquish responsibilities and just indulge in whatever I fancy. Alas, life isn’t always like that. Besides, one should always keep a finger on the pulse of what’s going on at home and be involved in caring for, and managing, the family.
We believe in prevention so we always tell her to keep an eye out for certain things. For example, not to use an excessive amount of soap when bathing the children, and sluicing off soap residues from the bathroom floor each time after the children bathe.
She watches out for excessive sneezing or coughing and informs me if anything is amiss. She has also learnt what to do in emergencies. She may not know how to do CPR, but she knows who to call and in what order. She has all the important numbers.
THE SECOND TIER
What happens when I’m not around? I have my own support group who’ll step in on my behalf, including those days when she’s unwell. I make sure that she gets the medical attention she needs.
To prepare for this eventuality, you’d need to go through a list of possibilities and what’s required to tackle the problems. Make several copies of her passport and work permit for her and for your support team. In case of an emergency, she’d have the necessary documents. You wouldn’t want the complications that come with her not having her documents.
Next, leave some money with her and/or with your support team. You need to make payments for such help. You might have other cashless alternatives that you could arrange for.
If she has a smartphone and knows how to use the apps, you could set up for transport using Uber or Grab. Some people have allowed their maids to obtain a driver’s licence to take family members to wherever they need to go.
This is the second tier of caregivers in your family — when your maid is given the authority to act on your behalf in certain circumstances. This may sound like a crazy idea. Maybe it is for some. Maybe when you’ve found someone with sterling qualities that you could trust, you’ll be able to do this.
There may be that one person who’s ever so quick to cheat you; but there are so many others with hearts of gold too. It doesn’t always have to be an outsider who’s the villain. Sometimes, there can be a rotten apple in the family too.
Trust has to be a two-way street. When you bring someone into your home to care for your loved one, you’ve already entrusted her with your most precious assets. If you can’t trust that person, she shouldn’t be there in the first place. certain unnecessary luxuries, be the first to volunteer to discontinue it. Declare your objective. Work together to achieve your family’s financial targets.
If you’re able to do this, more thanhalfofthebattleisalreadywon. You’ll find that the whole family will chip in to help you achieve those objectives. No matter how small their contributions, they go a long way towards achieving whatever goals you set for the family. The best part is that your whole family would also feel that those are their objectives too.
The key word is leveraging on each other. Let the family be your pillars of strength when things are getting tougher and you feel like giving up. In return, you should be their supporter too. By doing all these, we can look back 12 months from now without any regrets. By then, hopefully we’d have filled our calendar with lots of exciting events, bigger achievements and many more happy memories.
Happy New Year everyone! May 2018 bring us more love, joy, prosperity and happiness!