END SEX EDUCATION STIGMA
Only then will we see the end of dead babies being found in rubbish dumps, toilets
MALAYSIANS this past week must have been shocked to hear or read about the newborn baby who was thrown out of a building at Jalan Hentian 4, Hentian Kajang, by his mother.
The boy was reported to have been thrown out the window of a toilet on the second floor of the building, landing in an alley behind a restaurant, with a thud so loud that several people heard it. First on the scene was a man named Thayalan Paliandy, or Ajay, a hero no less important than the bravest of warriors, at least to the baby.
Rushed to hospital, the baby survived, though he is reported to still be in critical condition in the intensive care unit. Ajay has been visiting the baby every day for at least an hour and, along with several others touched by the baby’s plight or perhaps horrified by his mother’s actions, has been donating things like diapers and other essentials. Whether the baby survives is still up in the air.
It is horrifying indeed that in this day and age, when we are supposed to be living in times more enlightened than ages gone by, that such incidents still occur. It is, after all, a time when numerous methods of giving away an unwanted baby exist. We have a number of baby hatches available, besides orphanages, which have been around for hundreds of years.
For this is not an isolated case, as some may think. At the New Straits Times, and no doubt other media organisations, many stories of babies being abandoned, most of whom were found dead, have landed on our desks. Most do not see print, due to a number of reasons. It is an appalling number, to say the least.
When you think about the number of childless couples that are out there, such loss of life — innocent, precious lives at that — seems unthinkable, unnecessary and unforgivable.
Why kill the child when there are alternatives like hatches and orphanages? And when you realise that a child is basically made up of the DNA of his or her mother and father, then killing that child is basically killing a part of yourself. How does one stomach that?
There are those who advocate sex education in schools to stem the tide of unwanted teen pregnancies. Not just the basic science lesson here, which basically merely touches on male and female reproductive organs. No, they advocate sex education in its entirety. Education that covers a holistic approach.
This is something that is important. Our children need to be educated not just about their organs, but how babies are made and what are the responsibilities that go with it. And if you really think our teens know how babies are made, then you are wrong, as there have been surveys which show the depth, or lack thereof, of sexual understanding teens in Malaysia have, with some thinking that kissing can lead directly to one getting pregnant, though for sure there are parents out there who would prefer to let their daughters think that so they don’t even engage in kissing.
The problem is the stigma that is attached to sex education. Those against such education believe it will lead to promiscuity and heightened sexual awareness and activity. Maybe so, as part of sex education would be how to have responsible sex. But better that than more babies being abandoned.
There is a need for such stigma to be done away with, though of course this is easier said than done. It is something entrenched in Malaysian society and may take years, if not decades, to get rid of. But get rid of it we must.
Another reason why this stigma needs to be done away with is that women and girls who do find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy will then find themselves not having to deal with the stress of dealing with the stigma attached to it. They may choose to bring up the child on their own, or leave him or her with an orphanage or a baby hatch.
Let’s face it, with or without sex education, there will always be teens who find themselves unable to control their primal urges, and accidents do happen. So the most important thing, in the long term, would be for Malaysia and Malaysians to drop the stigma attached to sex and sex education.
Then, and only then, will we see the end of dead babies being found in rubbish dumps, toilets and what have you.
Our children need to be educated not just about their organs, but how babies are made and what are the responsibilities that go with it.
The writer has more than two decades of experience, much of which has been spent writing about crime and the military. A die-hard Red Devil, he can usually be found wearing a Manchester United jersey when outside of work