Living in the now
BEFORE I can take stock of time, there’s another birthday to celebrate. This time last year I wrote an article called Love In Three Decades, about my reflections on self worth. It seemed fitting at the time, given that I had just completed my 20s, a phase that is saturated with so many learning curves about growing up.
Personally, it was an important decade for me because it was full of experiences that allowed me to figure out who I was and what I truly wanted. For many, this means stepping outside the boundaries we were raised in into a new realm of possibilities, of making our own choices and finally living them.
At the turn of my 30th year, I began to look closely at my life. This was partly triggered by a conversation with an older colleague.
We started talking about the things we would like to do, which included places we would like to travel to, new hobbies and personal ambitions we would like to achieve. At some point he mentioned that there are many things in his list he would probably not be able to achieve due to his current circumstances.
He has children, so travelling is not a priority. One of his knees is problematic, so he can no longer hike to the Everest Base Camp, which he had always wanted to attempt.
This conversation led me to think about the concept of “living in the now”. When I was younger, I lived on a day-to-day basis, spending too much time doing things only because everyone else was doing them, and too little time giving serious thought to what I actually wanted out of life.
I had no aspirations at work, I spent money on expensive things just because friends were wearing them, and I didn’t invest a lot of time in figuring out who I really was or how I would like to live my life, sans cultural expectations. It’s never too late to pick up a new skill.
And so I spent most of the year trying to realise this list. I began taking ukulele lessons, because it always seemed so fun to be able to strum a tune with it. I never tried it in the past because it didn’t feel like there was any value to that, but what I’ve learnt is that not everything has to be monetarydriven.
Self-enrichment is about feeling fulfilled, so if it makes you happy, go for it! Even if it means appearing deranged to your neighbours as you roll down the hill while trying to learn how to roller-blade (which was also me, a couple of months ago).
I wanted to travel to many places, but something was always stopping me. I would either be too concerned with the costs or taking that much time off work. But talking to a female friend, a mother of two, finally changed my viewpoint.
“Appreciate the time you have now to do whatever you really want to do,” she said. “One day, when you have children and commitments, you’ll never get the luxury of time again. And you’ll be very sorry you didn’t use it to the fullest.”
And so I did. I travelled to six countries in five months. At times with friends, at times solo. As for work? Let me put it this way; if there is a will, there is a way.
Schedule your year so that you can enjoy your time without neglecting your responsibilities. Leverage where you can. Talk to your boss about how to deliver your work while also enjoying your personal time.
Two months ago, I decided to sign up for a French language course. I’ve always wanted to learn a new language, and if not now, when? It was daunting at first, the fact that I was throwing this into the mix of being a full-time geologist, writing a newspaper column, finishing the manuscript of my second book, and maintaining a blog. But the way I see it, if you can’t find time, make time.
You’d be surprised how much time you have just by cutting down on your TV time, Instagram and even mindless gossip.
We always find reasons to stall from doing what we would really like to do. It’s a form of self-sabotaging. We convince ourselves that we have plenty of time, when the truth is, we know very well that time is fleeting. I haven’t done everything I have on my list, but so far, as a result of pushing myself to start doing some of them, I dare say that my 30th year has been one of the best years of my life.
Perhaps the conclusion of this selfexperiment is if you start living the life you want now, instead of waiting for the undefined “later”, you’ll feel a bigger sense of fulfilment and contentment over your current life.