Aggressive Language in Speech and Writing

A Reflection on An Individual and What the Person Stands For

Irecently attended a friend’s birthday dinner at a social club in the Klang Valley. The dinner was nothing special or extraordinary. However, I was somewhat taken aback by the aggressive and uncouth language used by a fellow guest in relating a particular incident. I do not know this person very well nor consider him a friend but I found the manner in which he relayed his concerns and his tone of voice quite uncalled for. He began to pour his frustrations out in a crude way. He also spoke in a loud voice and did not seem to note that there were ladies sitting close by.

DEPLORE INDIVIDUALS WHO USE CRUDE AND COARSE LANGUAGE

While reading an article titled, ‘A tigress to this day’ about a well-known Malaysian personality, educator and women’s leader, Datuk Rasammah Bhupalan, in The Star recently, I was struck by the comment she made regarding this matter. Rasammah said inter alia: ‘I am disgusted by people who think it is okay to pepper their sentences with expletives. I deplore people who use aggressive language. It is unacceptable to an orderly society, not to mention impolite.’ I fully endorse those sentiments.

CHOICE OF LANGUAGE AND VOCABULARY REFLECTS ON YOU

When someone by choice or habit uses aggressive language in polite circles, he is actually sending a message about his values in life and his upbringing. What was the need for the use of such crude and aggressive language at an enjoyable birthday celebration? Could he not have conveyed his comments in a polite and acceptable manner without, in any way, offending the other guests at the table? This person, for the record, is about 65 five years old. Was he blind to the fact that there were people at the table too and that he should have been more mindful of his colourful language?

At his age, he must have gotten away with a lot in the past but neither advancing age nor the passage of time had mellowed this lout. In my opinion, he is clearly a social misfit and one who others will hesitate to invite to events that require a modicum of social grace and etiquette. In his heyday, this individual was a general manager of a multinational company in the Klang Valley and had graduated with a degree from a local university. I understand, from reliable sources, that this unpleasant and aggressive individual is also given to lashing out at his wife in their own home and even in the presence of visitors!

LETTING IT RIP ON SOCIAL MEDIA

I also note with growing apprehension that some otherwise sane and responsible individuals have taken to expressing themselves freely and without any self-imposed restrictions on social media. This ability to freely spew all manner of comments seems to be like a drug of choice and a wonderful opportunity! Is it really so?

There is a well-known saying: ‘Publish and be damned.’Once something coarse and aggressive appears in print, it remains there for all to see and then evaluate.

I wonder how these individuals will feel if sometime later their children read what they had to say on these matters and the manner in which they conveyed their views. Alternatively, if they work for some established and well-known companies, would they be just as pleased to have their bosses read their unvarnished and unrestrained comments?

THINKING EMOTIONALLY AND WITHOUT RESTRAINTS

There is a great and ever present danger in thinking purely from an emotional angle. Thinking in such an emotional state reduces tremendously one’s ability to think sensibly, rationally and logically. There is, of course, a‘feel good’factor in thinking emotionally. One is able to let it all rip sans common sense and good judgement. In Singaporean speak, we call that ‘shiok sendiri’. But that is only a temporary feeling.

The long term damage to reputation - and what is left of it will be severe. So it will be wise to re–think this constant need to use aggressive language. Once such language becomes a part of us, our ability to control ourselves in situations where there is a need to be cautious is limited. Our unrestrained language will bring about disastrous consequences.

So, our ability to think deeply and take proactive steps to audit our speech and writing will do us a world of good.