‘Listen to your kids, instead of scolding them’

KUALA LUMPUR: Good parenting skills are crucial to prevent teens from running away from home.

Shelter Home for Children therapy and counselling head Vincent Pee said although there were many reasons why teens ran away from home, lack of parental understanding and the child’s need for a meaningful sense of belonging have been identified as main factors.

“From my experience, teenagers run away because they seek freedom as their home environment is too constrictive.

“Some claimed to have parents who are breathing down their necks, while others mentioned being physically abused at home.

“Because of this, they seek shelter at their friends’ homes and disappear for months.

“Some may return home, while others sever ties with their family.”

Shelter is a registered welfare organisation set up in 1981 to help abused, abandoned, neglected or at-risk children.

Pee said social empathy was vital in understanding why youngsters turn wayward.

“When they feel that no one understands them, they will go to people who are willing to listen to them,” he told the New Sunday Times.

Pee said Shelter provided counselling to teens who seek help in dealing with problems at home and in school.

“Those who run away are usually secondary school students.

“For them, running away is the easiest way to deal with the situation — by escaping from the unhappy environment.”

He said identifying the root cause would resolve the social issue.

“At the same time, we try to help the parents.

“We remind them about the importance of understanding their kids and to listen, engage and provide encouragement, instead of scolding them.

“This will build a strong sense of belonging,” he said.

He said parental guidance would pave the way for children to find their way back home.

Pee said if those who ran away from home returned, parents should be willing to let go of the past and give them a second chance.

“Engage more with the kids. Give them hope if they have no interest in public schools by exploring other possibilities, such as vocational or technical schools.”

Pee suggested a centre for the teens be set up by the government to help them with the problems.

He said parents should get help from experts when it comes to improving their relationship with their children.

“Talk to counsellors or therapists instead of neighbours or relatives, which could worsen the situation,” he said, adding that the Social Welfare Department and religious leaders could assist in providing such services.