Okay for infirm to travel but plan well
MY late parents had a passion for travel. For as long as I could remember, they had a wanderlust that shaped all of us, their children, to be adventurous and curious about the world beyond our home.
There were so many family road trips and we’ve visited every single state in the country. We’ve taken smaller roads off the beaten tracks and stayed in villages too.
Later, we started travelling abroad. My parents would always bring one or two of us along. Being the younger child of a big family, I somehow managed to be the one accompanying them for their trips. By that time, my elder siblings had left the country for further studies.
I was their constant travel companion — their gofer — and I was happy to be so. I’d do everything that needed to be done, from carrying their luggage to their shopping, and generally tended to their needs. Through the years of travelling with them, I knew exactly what and how they liked to travel. I made all the arrangements for them with their travel agents. There was no such thing as online bookings for anything in those days. We relied heavily on
the travel agent’s recommendations.
I’d do the check-ins at airports and hotels, made them their morning coffee and night-time cocoa, sleep in whatever little cot or extra bed in the corner of their room, and drive the rented car as soon as I got my licence. It was an all-expenses trip for me until I could pay my own way.
We loved this arrangement and we did this almost every year until my parents were challenged by illness and ageing. My father was particularly distressed about not being able to makan angin for a change of sights and experience so I asked his doctors what we could do about it.
PROPER PLANNING
They said there was no real reason why he couldn’t travel if we planned properly. We just had to ensure that he had enough supply of medication and to go for a quick check with the doctor a week before travelling to ensure that he was fit enough to go.
Common sense should prevail, we were told. For example, use the walking stick to keep him steady or the wheelchair if he tired easily.
Check out if hotels had elevators. Some hotels in those days, and even some boutique hotels today in First World countries, do not have lifts.
We always requested for wheelchair services at the airport. Most airports provided that service for free. Some, however, charged a small fee.
In some destinations, the hotel also provided wheelchairs for the guests to use, and even offered an assistant to push the chair for him. But this arrangement was costly.
My parents always nudged, winked and had a good giggle about borrowing wheelchairs but not having anyone to push them around. Mum wasn’t strong enough for that. Funnier still was whenever they travelled with only the two of them, minus their travel companion. Both would be stuck in the wheelchair but going nowhere. Having a capable travel companion solves that problem.
Even though there were some privileges to being in a wheelchair (for example, you get to go first in any queue), it’s not always smooth sailing.
Being in a wheelchair can be quite harrowing if you don’t have confidence in the handler, especially when manoeuvring around corners and slopes.
Sometimes the handler might follow the people in front too closely that the chair ends up nicking the person’s ankles and hurting them.
RESPECTING BOUNDARIES
When mum started going for haemodialysis on a regular basis, we still managed to travel to wherever she desired.
Most of the time, we arranged trips that were short and lasted over the weekend.
This allowed her to maximise her “off” days from dialysis. She could eat and drink anything she wanted as long as it was within the permitted amounts. We had to be very careful about that.
For longer trips away, we’d always find a clinic where she could go for at least one or two dialysis treatments. We had to make arrangements between the two clinics, here and abroad, and doctors to communicate with each other.
While it’s a big responsibility to travel with someone with serious medical conditions and who may need emergency attention, you get to forge a bond and know each other better.
Just know what needs to be done when, and be mindful not to take anything for granted. There has to be a balance of being there for them but also not to crowd them. It’s about respecting boundaries.
I enjoyed being my parents’ travel companion, and I miss it so much.