LEARN TO BUILD RELATIONSHIPS
EARLIER this week, while I was conducting a training programme for some senior managers from a company that operates two of the world’s most iconic fast-food brands, I had the participants in stitches when I recounted my early adventures of courtship with my wife, Susanna.
I met her in 2007 on a flight from Kuala Lumpur to Jakarta. At that time, she lived in Indonesia. After successfully convincing her that I was the right bloke for her, I spent a tremendous amount of time, energy and resources to shuttle between Malaysia and Indonesia. And in the two-year period when we were in a long-distance relationship, I turned up in Jakarta at least three times a month.
Today, I simply become an uncooperative husband if she suggests that we go to the shopping enclave of Mutiara Damansara, which is a six-minute drive from our home.
I was relating this anecdote at my training programme as I discussed the idea of being driven by purpose in everything we do.
My purpose-drive in the early days of wooing my wife was to show her my commitment and impress upon her that I was the “right” choice. My current purpose is to continue to show her that I am a reliable, dependable, loving partner, while avoiding shopping complexes altogether!
And accordingly, making the 1,184km journey from Kuala
Lumpur to Jakarta was far more motivational and energising than the short 6km journey to Mutiara Damansara from my home.
Your attitude is always relative to your purpose.
In the current economic climate, if you need the income from work to keep yourself and your family afloat, the ultimate purpose is to remain in employment. And surely by now, you realise that being skilled alone is no guarantee of a job.
If you can build decent and functional relationships with your bosses and co-workers, you are less likely to be the first to be shown the exit.
The key is to be able to form these solid relationships, which are entirely dependent on your attitude. This, in turn, relies solely on your purpose.
A Gallup study some 20 years ago showed that people who have a “good friend” at work are seven times more likely to be engaged in their jobs. This just means that when you have proper relationships at work, you perform better. And engaged workers keep their jobs during tough times.
Just a few days ago, I had no choice but to go bonkers with a member of my team because of her inability to recalibrate and get engaged with the job as well as her colleagues.
Most employers are like me. We are under tremendous pressure to keep our businesses relevant. For this, we need team members who have solid relationships with each other and the mission of the enterprise. This has to be at the core of your determination drive now. How do you make cultivating relationships an integral part of your purpose?
Be trustworthy
No relationship can thrive on dishonesty. Trustworthiness is at the foundation of every good relationship and applies to both employers and employees.
From an employer’s perspective, when you have your team members scattered and working in remote locations, there is a tendency to use technology to control them. For employees, working from home does mean you can get away with doing less than if you were at the workplace.
In these Covid-19 pandemic times, things get conflated and there is an erosion of trust for both parties. The first thing on the agenda is to trust, if you want to survive these tough times.
Bosses need to learn to trust by offering a conducive environment for remote working and not fixate on micro-managing their teams, and employees need to be honest in their actions to show trustworthiness.
This trust forms a powerful bond that helps everyone work much better as a team. It is your capacity to build relationships based on trust that will insulate you from the current difficulties.
Have mutual respect
When you have respect for the people that you work with, you will value their input and ideas. Working together, you can develop solutions based on collective insight, wisdom and creativity.
Having mutual respect requires deliberate action from you. Don’t trivialise other people’s opinions.
Appreciate that everyone has a right to an opinion. And disagree without actually being disagreeable.
All of this is predicated on you being able to build relationships that are respectful.
Communicate openly
If you communicate with clarity, consistency and courtesy, you will be able to cultivate relationship at the workplace. Proper communication just increases connectivity.
We communicate all day, every day with the people we work with. And the better and more effectively you communicate with them, the richer your relationships will be.
Your purpose reflects in your attitude towards everything. And it is your attitude that determines whether you can form reliable relationships with others.
You want to stay employed? Build relationships!
A Gallup study some 20 years ago showed that people who have a ‘good friend’ at work are seven times more likely to be engaged in their jobs.
The writer is managing consultant and executive leadership coach at EQTD Consulting. He is also the author of the national bestseller ‘So, You Want To Get Promoted?’