Breaking the vicious cycle of ageing
NOT too long ago, I came across this quote: “The best gift to your children, other than a good education, is to remain healthy in old age.” This couldn’t be further from the truth! You’d want to be able to enjoy the rest of your life in reasonably good health so that hospitals don’t become your second home and medicines don’t become your food. You’d also want to be independent and do things for yourself for as long as you can.
My contemporaries and I have reached retirement age, and some are thoroughly enjoying their golden years with family (especially grandchildren) and being with close friends and relatives.
By this time, some of us would’ve been a caregiver to someone we deeply care for. While some may have experienced the joys of being a caregiver — closer and better relationship, deeper understanding of that individual as well as a time to set things right — some us may have also experienced caregiver’s fatigue, stress, burnout and suffered the eventual loss of such loved ones.
My journey as a caregiver has spanned more than three decades. I’ve been thrown into unchartered territories more than once. I was in my 20s when all of this happened. While most of my peers were reaching the peaks of their careers or enjoying parenthood, I spent my days in and out of hospitals. Occasionally I’d be the patient with my own health issues, but most of the time, it was for others.
There were plenty of time for chitchats while waiting for our turn, and after we’d exhausted the magazines in the waiting room, or got bored of whatever was on cable television. Those were the days before the existence of smartphones.
My late parents enjoyed sharing their life stories. They led such full and exciting lives. However, they became unwell as they got older. If ever there were books that charted the milestones on ageing men and women like the ones they have for newborns and babies, we’d be able to anticipate what comes next.
MANAGING AGEING
I’ve also heard it being said that my parents’ ailments came with age. Countless doctors and those we saw told us so. At that time, gerontology was a relatively new medical specialisation. It focused on the treatment of existing disease in older adults whose condition and needs are different from younger adults.
Ageing can be difficult for some as the body and health decline with the progressing years. Those who have maintained their health (in addition to having great, healthy genes) wouldn’t have too many complaints of aches, pains or disease. In fact, their medical check-ups can make them feel like they’ve aced all the subjects in an important exam.
Alas, for those who are fraught will illness due to heredity, accident or unhealthy lifestyle, the journey might not be so smooth sailing. Sometimes you have to struggle with all sorts of things just to obtain those sterling results.
There are many things we can do for ourselves in preparation for the future.
For example, in our younger days, we’d have set aside some money for retirement and possibly made other plans for a comfortable life after work.
Now, we should start looking at how we live. Start by evaluating your home. What would it be like after the children have left? Do we still need to live upstairs or should we prepare the rooms downstairs. Perhaps we might need to make some modifications according to our abilities, limitations and strengths?
BEAT THE PATTERN
We need to make the house safe and take preventive measures against falls, tripping or slipping anywhere in the house, especially in bathrooms. We need to stay active — physically, socially, mentally and spiritually.
The importance of exercise, healthy eating and good sleep can’t be emphasised enough. It sounds easy but it’s not as it takes commitment and discipline.
While you establish your routines, it’s also good to make friends with people o different ages. Try something new. Take up that music or dance lesson you’ve been wanting to take up all these years.
Notonlydotheyaddfreshperspectives anddimensionstowhatyou’reaccustomed to, but it also keeps loneliness at bay. This is especially so when your life has mainly revolved around your spouse and children. Who are you left with after they’re gone? Start to widen your social circle.
When you’ve covered all these bases, you’ll find that your life has been enriched. You’ll discover safe avenues that allow you to vent about hardships as much as celebrate significant moments in your life.
You’ll find that you can actually break the vicious cycle of ageing and illness. You aren’t always doomed to walk the same path of your parents’ if you’re willing to make some changes and take charge of your life. Well, you might not be able to beat that pattern completely, but you may be able to delay it significantly.