Stubborn, Not Persistence

THE GOAL IS RIGHT, THE APPROACH IS WRONG

QAlthough many people regard persistence as an important trait for anyone who wants to achieve their goals, I do not because I know of many persistent people who still have not achieved their goals yet. They strive and strive, spending time and resources but end up with nothing except frustration and disappointment. What is your view on this?

AOften, what appears to be persistence is actually stubbornness because on the surface, these two types of people seem relentless as they do not easily give up on their goals.

However, persistent people succeed more because they are rational, pragmatic and flexible when the occasion calls for it.

On the other hand, stubborn people are impractical, unrealistic, rigid and selfish in many ways. Due to this, they offend many people along the way and eventually become loners in their journey to achieve their goals. They eventually fail.

Keep an open mind to what is possible or not possible. Talk to people who are objective to evaluate the plausibility of your ideas. Learn to be flexible and change your ways to adjust to the situation and people without losing sight of your goal.

Many a time, your goal is right, but the approach to getting it is wrong.

POWERFUL QUESTIONS

Who else say your goal is realistic? Think carefully, why are you not

achieving your goal?

• What changes are needed in you?

• What are you prepared to do differently?

ACCEPTANCE, NOT REJECTION

QAfter an overseas hiatus of 20 years, I packed up and returned to Malaysia to spend more time here to look after my elderly parents. Now I feel unsettled and disorientated as I have lost my meaningful and wellpaid job overseas.

I am now in a job that uses little of my experience, knowledge and interest. My sense of self-worth took a deep dive. I want to regain my selfworth, build up my confidence and courage to find a better career here. How can I do this?

A

If you accept that it is quite normal for one to feel this way when moving from a familiar environment to an unfamiliar one, then you would not feel this way now. There will always be a period of adjustment in the transition where at the beginning ‘withdrawal symptoms’ such as depression, anxiety and worthlessness will naturally appear to most people.

There are always challenges as life does not always go the way you want, so being patient and understanding to yourself will help you cope better.

Build up your mental wall by training your mind to be positive. Rehearse lines for positive motivation, such as: “I am doing fine and I am making progress,” etc., will help a lot. It pays to mix with more positive people to tap their source of encouragement.

POWERFUL QUESTIONS

• What will you say to yourself to learn patience and understanding?

• What are the upsides of your current situation?

• What will make the transition more palatable?

• What can you draw from your previous experience to teach you what to do now?