TO SUCCEED IN LIFE, EMBRACE FEAR

FEAR is good. There, I said it. Some of you may think I have gone “doolally.” I get it. We spend a lot of energy and effort to not be in a place that is scary. And here I am, saying that fear is actually good.

You see, as much as we try to stay away from fear, it is like a shadow that follows us around. So, resistance is futile.

Just like how failure has to be embraced, fear, too, must be accepted into our lives. Don’t get me wrong, we do not have to go chasing after fear and failure. But it is an inevitable part of our lives.

Fear can either debilitate or motivate. And, the choice is entirely yours.

An article by Dr Theo Tsaousides, a renowned neuropsychologist and clinical researcher, appeared in Psychology Today in 2015. This magazine is a long-standing publication endorsed by the United States National Board for Certified Counsellors.

Here, he argued that a lack of fear may be a sign of serious brain damage. The research cited in the journal says the capacity for fear is actually a permanent fixture in our brain.

Neuroscientists have discovered that when the networks in our brain are electrically or chemically stimulated, fear is produced, even in the absence of any fearful stimulus.

So perhaps, you should start by accepting that feeling fear is neither abnormal nor a sign of weakness. The capacity to be afraid is an integral part of the normal brain functions.

The same article goes on to categorise actions that are motivated by fear into four stages, which are freeze, fight, flight and frightened.

When you freeze, you literally stop what you are doing and just focus on the fearful stimulus. After the initial “freeze” comes to pass, you will automatically choose one of these two; fight or flight.

You will either decide to deal with the threat directly through confrontation or begin to work around it via alternative paths, or you take an altogether different set of actions.

However, when the fear is overwhelming, you experience the fourth category, which is just pure fright. This is when you neither fight nor flee.

At this emotional state, you get debilitated. You might obsess about the situation and moan, but take no action.

Research shows that being continuously in fright mode can also lead to depression.

Through my work as a management consultant and leadership coach, the most successful people I have met somehow have managed to plough through this barrier of fear.

How do these people master fear, and learn to leverage it?

Greek philosopher and scientist Aristotle declared: “…courage is the first of human virtues because it makes all others possible.”

And, in his autobiography Long Walk to Freedom, Nelson Mandela wrote: “I learnt that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

It seems that courageous people are as afraid as anyone else, and it appears that it is their fear that makes them brave and strong-willed, and not the lack of it. They have just worked out how to manage their fear.

So, the first thing I have learnt from working with successful entrepreneurs is not to be afraid of fear.

You have to be calm and acknowledge that you are afraid of something. If you understand that fear serves to “warn and protect”, it helps you manage your emotions better.

It is really a guide that supports you as you navigate the complexities of life to meet your goals.

There are two critical skills to manage your fear.

The first is to increase your selfefficacy. There is no better remedy to fear than self-confidence. Your confidence grows when you increase your knowledge, learn and master skills, and gain experience.

The second is to learn to continue to act even as you are fearful about something.

People who have mastered fear are excellent strategists. They plan and evaluate their actions. They know when to press and when to lean back. They know how to assess risks and always take the appropriate action.

If you want success in your life, you must embrace your fears, and simply gain control over them.