Know when it’s time to listen
IN our working life, it is important that all voices be heard, and that includes yours. Unfortunately, like most leaders, your voice as a leader comes with considerable baggage. When the boss speaks, people listen. And, they listen differently from when other people speak.
There are also some people in the brainstorming room who treat your voice like every other voice in the room. Whether the idea comes from you or a newly recruited manager, these people will state their agreement or disagreement with the idea in the exact same way, regardless of the source. Unfortunately, this probably isn’t the case for most of the people at the table. When you speak, most may be quick to respond when they agree, and very, very slow to respond when they disagree - so slow, in fact, that sometimes they may never get around to it!
As a result of the lack of two-way communication many leaders experience within their own walls, the views of the leader can easily overpower the group. And even when someone dares to challenge with a question, some leaders, often without knowing it, respond with statements that belittle the questioner or not-so-subtly communicate that challenging the boss is not welcome.
To be efficient and effective in the long run, it’s our job as a leader to create a safe space where our team can share ideas without fear of judgment. But it can be tough to know how to give comment without squeezing others’ suggestions. Should you jump in with your own ideas during brainstorming sessions, or step back and take on more of a coaching role? The key is to find the right balance.
Deadlines and performance targets may be a good habit in management practice but it can heighten the pressure to impose your own opinions, and doing so will increase your team’s self-doubt and perpetuate the perception of the leader always having the answer. Perhaps it is a good idea take your leader hat off and, as convincingly as you can; tell your team not to treat your ideas any differently than their own. Remember, your team won’t be creative or innovative if they are waiting for you to tell them what to do.
In the discussion you should explain how your role differs inside and outside the room. Let your team know that your leadership title was left outside the door when you walked in. Inside the planning room you are one member of the planning team and have one vote just like everyone else. The strategic plan being formulated inside the room is the recommendation of the team and will go to the leader for the final decision. Outside the planning room you put your leader title back on and will have the final say on the recommendation of the team. Should you as the leader decide to not accept a recommendation, you will let them know why.
In some cases, it will be more helpful to state your view up front and gain feedback. In other cases, it will be more helpful to give the team a chance to develop their ideas first and to suggest your idea only if the group did not come to it on its own. How do you decide which approach is more appropriate? Generally, if your idea is focused on broad strategic direction (i.e., vision, mission, goals, and to some extent objectives), consider putting them on the table first for reaction.
If your idea is more narrow or focused on implementation it may very well be more appropriate to suggest your idea only if the group does not come up with it on their own but avoid being the first, second or third person to respond.
Many leaders find it difficult to sit back when a comment is made that is clearly off track or may take the discussion in what they believe is the wrong direction. As a result, they speak up and give their comments first and predictably, the rest of the group typically become silent and follows the direction of the leader.
For want of better strategy, it may be a good idea to make it a point prior to the brainstorming session to ask leaders to specifically not be the first, second or third person to respond to comments but to allow their people to speak up first and comment only after at least three others have given their views.
It is a fact that in many occasions strong leaders tend to be characterized by their strong opinions, decisive action and take-no-prisoners attitude. These are important traits, but it’s equally important for managers to stand down and listen up. Yet many leaders struggle to do this, in part because they’ve become more accustomed to speaking than listening. So what are the barriers to good listening and how do you overcome them? As a boss, we need to have a strong voice and we need to know when it’s time to listen.
A real conversation is a two-way dialogue; it requires both parts. To be able to motivate and inspire others, we need to learn how to listen in both individual meetings and at the group level.