Discovering what makes an autistic child tick
Final Part: Shared stories of families who are doing their best to raise their ‘special needs’ children
SOMETIMES, it’s just a matter of finding out how to develop a child.
Having had little exposure to ‘ special needs’ children or individuals before, I’ve honestly never had a chance to sit down and converse with one with autism spectrum disorder.
But that changed recently when I was given a chance to sit down with supermom, Lim Mei Gek, and her autistic son, Li Qi Yuan, who she affectionately refers to as Yuan Yuan.
Meeting up with the mother and son earlier this month, I wasn’t quite sure what I would be in for. Our discussion began with Yuan Yuan sitting by quietly, flipping through a complicated marine biology textbook.
Most of our conversation didn’t seem to interest him but as the topic began shifting towards his interests – marine life and fish – the quiet young boy started taking notice and trying to join in.
Having a chance to talk about fish and marine life, Yuan Yuan finally opened up and began rattling on excitedly about his favourite fish and the fish he had raised as pets in the past.
He started off by listing all their formal Chinese names and what the locals would call them before calmly repeating the names of each fish in English, when requested.
“I used to like freshwater fish but now I like salt water fish more. My favourite is currently the Tiger Grouper and the Leopard Coral Grouper.
“When we first started rearing fish, my dad’s collection featured a wide variety of fish. There were the Red Oscar, also known as the red map fish because their scale patterns look like a map; the Blood Red Parrot Fish; the Long Fin Catfish; the Freshwater Polka Dot Stingray; the Genghis Khan Shark; the Common Sucker Mouth Catfish; the Japanese Rose Bitterling and the Fresh Water Angelfish.
“But the Angelfish all died because the water was too dirty — the PH was not correct.
“One of the fish I reared by myself was a special Arowana, a silver Arowana,” Yuan Yuan shared excitedly.
In a daze The list of exotic fish names he was able to come up with left me in a daze but not satisfied with just telling me about the fish he has reared in his life, the youngster gamely took on the task of illustrating to me, through a diagram, how to differentiate between a male and a female goldfish on a whiteboard.
There was little doubt that fish was this little boy’s ultimate passion and when asked what he would like to be in the future, he replied without skipping a beat: “I want to be a fish carer when I grow up, so I need to get good grades and find a job soon.”
“But … I also want to be successful in badminton now. I kind of want to be like Lee Chong Wei,” he added cheekily.
Yuan Yuan’s sense of responsibility and drive surprised me. It wasn’t very often that we got to meet a 13-year- old already actively and passionately working hard towards his or her future dream career.
And with an equally passionate and driven mother beside him, there is little doubt that his dream will become a reality.
“For children with autism, their interests are narrow but once you find something they like, they will really flourish.
“So, if anyone out there has a fish farm or shop, I hope you will consider hiring my Yuan Yuan part time so that he can gain some valuable knowledge on how to develop his ambitions and future works.
“Even if you are far from town or cannot pay him, we are all right with it because we just want him to take a step forward in achieving his dreams,” Lim said.
Not always so While Yuan Yuan might seem like a perfectly well- balanced young boy with a precocious talent for marine biology, his mother said this wasn’t always the case.
“We raised him in Hangzhou, China, where my husband comes from and while we were always worried about his development, no one back then even suggested to me my child could be autistic.
“Because of that, I had missed out on the best and most optimal years to help my child as we only realised he had a disability when he was five.
“At that age, he underwent a Psychoeducational Profile- 3 test that showed he had the mental capacity of a two-year- old,” Lim shared.
Sensing that Hangzhou might not be the best environment for her son’s development, she and her husband decided that the best move would be to uproot Yuan Yuan and move back to Sarawak where he would have a better chance.
After moving back home, Lim took it upon herself to home-school her son.
“To be honest, I didn’t have much idea what to do. So, I ended up watching over 100 episodes of Supernanny and applying the things I learned to help my child.
“I also read up constantly on autism but in the end, what helped the most was discovering his interest in fish and quality animals.
“So, I changed tactics and we began rearing fish and stingrays, and reading up on marine animals. We also began relating all lessons to marine animals in some way. The rest is history,” Lim shared proudly.
According to her, Yuan Yuan has improved tremendously. He is now so independent that Lim and her husband can trust him to take solo flights to visit their family in Johor.
“Actually, children with special needs/autism do not know anything. And unless you learn to develop them, they will never change.
“They are usually very onetrack minded and determined so if you manage to find out their interests, they might even advance faster than normal kids in some areas,” she explained.
Blessing from God To Lim, Yuan Yuan’s improvement is not only the result of dedication but also a blessing from God.
Wanting to share her blessings with others, her family and few others with autistic children have banded together to start a ‘ Twinkle Family Support Group’ for families with autistic or ‘special needs’ children.
“I know he ( Yuan Yuan) will never be like normal people but that doesn’t mean he cannot have a fulfilling life as himself. So,
to help others like him, our group aims to become a proper support community.
“We want to help teach families proper scientific methods of helping their children develop. We will hold weekend classes on caring for their children, organise activities together and create an environment where they can all feel comfortable in,” she enthused.
To raise awareness on autism and the existence of the support community in Kuching, a sharing session, organised by Kuching Gospel Church and Lim’s Twinkle Family Support group, will be held at the MBKS Auditorium from 6.30pm to 9.30pm on Dec 15.
Twenty-two families will come together to share their stories to the public.
For more information on the support group or the sharing session, contact Lim at 016- 8609639.