Reverence for life

CIt is never too early for children to learn to understand and value life. HILDREN can learn from an early age that the world is filled with exquisite life forms. Yet, many children learn to fear them when the adults teach them to step over a spider or a cockroach. They also see how beautiful gardens are cemented over for parking space.

When you share your observations of the things in their surroundings, you are helping your child acquire the concept of reverence for life. You set the example for your child to emulate.

We should also make great effort to conserve and protect nature’s wonders as part of our teaching.

Everyday activities around the house, such as building a compost heap or putting peelings and overripe fruits into the earth, can all help children realise they, too, can participate in simple, practical endeavours to sustain natural life cycles.

The best way for children to learn anything is to have them learn by doing. It is no use just telling them about it, or even reading to them and letting them watch videos. Get them outdoors and let them take their time to observe a snail crawling in the garden or a bird perched on the fence.

My nine-year-old nephew spent an entire day in my garden during one of his visits. He was just hanging out with nature, as he called it. All he did was look out for insects and observe them. At the end of the day, he proudly remarked: “Wow, being in your garden beats watching National Geographic. I saw a praying down to Cannes, where my parents came into their own.

There was something about the French people and language that made my mother feel more at home than in England. Among the pale, thin-lipped Ruislip women, my mother would be seen as a vulgar loudmouth. In Cannes she was an attractive, voluptuous woman appreciating things and enjoying herself rather noisily, which, to the French, was normal. Here she could shout, talk more or less non-stop in very loud French, crack jokes, repeat herself and eat the lovely food.

My father also loved the French. He turned French upon arrival in Cannes. Being darkskinned, he already looked rather foreign, and once he had changed into his sandals, khaki shorts, string vest and navy beret, you would have thought he was a real Frenchman, sitting in the local betting shop, drinking pastis and reading the runners in the Nice Matin. Not that Cannes was perfect.

Out one day on a pedalo with my parents, I sat on one of the front bits with my legs dangling in the clear, blue water, looking down at the sandy parts of the bottom of the sea, jumping off mantis going for its kill to devour another insect.”

Young children are also curious about the life cycle of human beings. As they grow bigger and stronger every day, they are keen to know more about babies and older people who live among them. They relish quietly observing a baby sleeping.

They want to know more about older people. One fouryear-old boy who was taken to visit a home for the aged walked up to a female resident and asked matter-of-factly: “Why you have no more teeth?”

Preschool children are more readily than adults in appreciating the senior members. They do not mind their slower movement. In fact, they enjoy having these elderly folk patiently listen to them and guide them in doing tasks such as buttoning their shirts and putting on their shoes. now and again for a swim while they pedalled, when suddenly, something brown came bobbing past my dangling legs. What was it? A sea cucumber come loose? No. It was a floating poo from the American naval ship anchored off shore. I lifted my legs out of the water. Together we counted 35 more floating by, flushed straight out of their ship’s lavatories into the azure water.

Here was an advantage to having a mother and father like mine. It only made them laugh. And the laugh would go on, because this was a fabulous story to tell one’s friends. It had four top-notch ingredients: danger, horror, thrills and bowels. Perfect.

At that time I was too young to be embarrassed and now I’m too old. I look in the mirror and I see my parents. There are the faces my mother used to pull, the little expressions of distaste, the blabbing, shouting, butting in, vulgar laughs and flatulence. Perhaps not so publicly, but still there. And the Yiddish, which I thought so distasteful, I now love. But I have learned all about positive reinforcement and clear expressions of affection, and I never ask my daughter bowel questions. Never. – Guardian News & Media The kids love hearing stories from them which they will then repeat with pleasure.

At this young age, children want to know where babies come from. They are just seeking simple answers like dogs have puppies, cats have kittens. They may want to know about the woman whose belly is growing by the day.

Children under five years are usually satisfied when you tell them that a baby grows inside its mother in her uterus until it’s old enough to be born. You may want to use the correct anatomical terms rather than giving funny names to them.

Adults who want children to grow up feeling positive about the world they live in must try to make their answers simple and truthful. Avoid using analogies that can confuse them further.

Many people like to say: “The papa plants a seed in the mummy. The seed grows into a baby.” Our youngsters listening to this may naturally think of gardening and end up with the wrong ideas.

No discussions about life can be complete without including information on the topic of death. Children know that death is all around us – animals die, insects die and flowers die. They have also seen people die when they attend funerals.

Death is just a part of life. It should not be scary or distressing. If children lose their dear ones, they, too, can grieve.

When explaining death, do not reinforce the concept of “just sleeping” to preschool children. They can be very frightened when they equate sleep with death.

I know of a relative who refers to the counting of days in terms of how many times a person sleeps. Her children may get sensitive if they hear that “when people die, they go into a deep, long sleep.”

It is important to teach children to understand and value life from a young age. When they get an early start in knowing that we should revere life on earth, they will be protective of the environment they inhabit.

Our planet is small and its resources are fast depleting. If we destroy and use up these natural resources, we may not have a planet that will sustain us in the future. n Ruth Liew is a child developmentalist, Montessori trainer and examiner. A mother of two teenage daughters, she is committed to supporting children’s rights.