The Star Malaysia - Star2

A friend indeed

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THESE days, Befriender­s Kuala Lumpur do not only answer calls from those in distress.

They also spend a lot of time replying to e- mails from troubled individual­s.

It’s a task they cannot neglect because almost half of those who emailed them have mentioned suicide.

“Most e- mails are sent by individual­s below 30. Some e- mails even portray graphic details of suicide,” says Befriender­s Kuala Lumpur chairman Mary Raj.

Last year, Befriender­s received 2,685 e- mails from individual­s who needed emotional support, up from the 2,283 in their in- box in 2014.

“Besides manning two hotlines, we stressed on replying pressing suicidal e- mails in the quickest time. Our concern is to reach out to them before it’s too late.

“It’s certainly a challenge as there is no direct interactio­n with e- mail respondent­s. We try to respond to e- mails within a few hours and encourage them to call us for help,” says Mary, who has been a volunteer since the 1980s.

Befriender­s Kuala Lumpur – launched in Kuala Lumpur in 1970 – started off as a support hotline. Over the years, it has extended its services to include face- to- face counsellin­g, on- site befriendin­g, outreach programmes and workshops on counsellin­g skills and suicide prevention.

In keeping with the times, the non- profit organisati­on launched its online services in 1997.

About 30% of callers talk about taking their own lives. Each call is taken seriously, regardless if the caller is at high, middle or low risk of suicide.

“Volunteers can spend between 15 min- utes and two and a half hours to counsel people with suicidal intentions. We listen, connect and express concern and try to help understand what they are feeling,” says Mary. Most are grappling with relationsh­ip issues, psychologi­cal ( depression, schizophre­nia and bipolar) and financial problems.

To ensure volunteers are equipped to counsel emotionall­y distraught individual­s, they undergo eight weeks of training to learn the art of listening and offering emotional support.

“Volunteers must be dedicated, strong and willing to empathise with those needing emotional assistance. Sometimes, it’s difficult to put a finger on what’s going on in their minds so we have to dig deeper to find out what’s troubling them. We need to be patient to walk them through their journey of recovery.”

While the task is undoubtedl­y challengin­g, Mary finds it uplifting to do her part for the community.

“It means a lot knowing that I’ve helped someone suffering in silence. Many people are afraid to talk about their problems.

“Be supportive and be a good listener. Sometimes the person closest to you could be undergoing emotional problems. A lot of people don’t know where to turn to so we need to lend them a shoulder to cry on,” says Mary.

She finds that people tend to neglect their quality of life and peace of mind in their pursuit of material wealth.

“Be happy with life and try not to compare yourself to others. Instead of relying on technology, invest in face- to- face communicat­ion with family and friends,” she adds.

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