Supporting your partner
THOUGH pregnancy and childbirth may seem to some to solely exist in the female world, success in these two processes plus parenting depends on a good partnership between the woman and her spouse.
“The woman and baby may be the main characters in the show, but the father has a vital supporting role to play,” says T. E. Low, first- time father to a six- month- old son.
Low illustrates with a football analogy: the father may not play on the pitch, but he can be coach, scout, water boy, manager and more.
A good performance from all these supporting characters can be the difference between a mediocre performance and a championship win – a smooth pregnancy and delivery, and successful recovery.
Pop culture may be rife with puns about massive mood swings caused by pregnancy hormones, but these are no joke to go through.
“Men should be supportive, tolerant and sensitive towards the needs and emotions of their partners during pregnancy and childbirth.
“It is crucial for women to get the support and love from their partners so that they do not feel alone in this journey and always have a shoulder to turn to as postpartum depression can creep in without one realising it,” says Dr Sukdeep Singh Pannu, who is a first- time father to a month- old son.
Here are some ways you can support your partner through pregnancy and childbirth:
Research pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding as well as what to expect, and share your discoveries with your partner
Ensure your partner gets nutritious and balanced meals; you can even take over the cooking
Take charge of the toughest and heaviest housework
Discuss and map out a plan for the birth and first few months as parents with your partner
Help your partner plan and execute the trip to the hospital and the various antenatal and postnatal doctors’ visits
Provide physical, mental and emotional support to your partner during the birth and immediately after
Provide support for your partner in the initial breastfeeding stages, which can be difficult
In the end, it is important to not let the stress of being a new parent overwhelm you and your partner but try to focus on the joys of parenting as a team.
“I think the father should try his best to be calm, reasonable and careful throughout everything. In the long term, you will be rewarded with a smooth delivery, healthy baby and mother, and a quick recovery for the latter,” says Low.
“I would emphasise that you should be fully prepared to become a parent and it should be something that you really want,” adds Dr Sukdeep.
“Stress can creep in every now and then but the key is to enjoy every single day and treasure these beautiful moments and turn them into everlasting memories.”