Pi­rates Of The Caribbean: Salazar’s Re­venge

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down by in­con­sis­tent script­ing and the ac­tors not show­ing half enough ur­gency about their sit­u­a­tion most times. Noth­ing to do with the Joe Dante cult clas­sics, but it’s quite cer­tain you won’t have much of an ap­petite for mid­night snacks af­ter some of the grue­some demises on view here.

–DA

(★★✩✩✩)

THE open­ing ac­tion se­quence show­cases Johnny Depp’s Cap­tain Jack Spar­row and his trusty crew at­tempt­ing to rob a vault by drag­ging the en­tire bank build­ing that houses said vault through the town streets via horse­back ala Fast Five, only to re­alise that all the vault’s con­tent has spilled out due to Jack’s mishap. I felt the same way watch­ing the film.

Lately, there seems to be a lot of money be­ing poured into blockbusters with all flash and no soul – take Javier Bar­dem who plays the in­tim­i­dat­ing Cap­tain Salazar. Af­ter play­ing An­ton Chig­urh in No Coun­try For Old Men and Raoul Silva from Sky­fall, bring­ing vil­lains to life is al­most sec­ond na­ture to this gen­tle­man. He just has that qual­ity. Pity it isn’t milked more here as the film opts to fo­cus on the two new bland leads – a young sailor named Henry and a bril­liant young wo­man named Ca­rina – who co­erce Jack into help­ing them find the myth­i­cal Tri­dent of Po­sei­don be­fore Salazar can get his hands on it.

Again, why is Hol­ly­wood hell-bent on mak­ing money on un­mem­o­rable fluff?

This movie isn’t ter­ri­ble. It has spec­tac­u­lar mo­ments here and there as per the usual Pi­rates films and Ge­of­frey Rush’s Bar­bossa gets a some­what cool char­ac­ter arc. Only prob­lem is, his story is mostly been-there, done-that, yawn-can-we­move-on be­cause it is sim­i­lar to a plot in Guardians Of The Gal­axy Vol. 2.

And what of Depp? He isn’t a cool, im­pro­vis­ing rock star any­more. He’s now a bum­bling id­iot who makes Frank Dre­bin from the Naked Gun and In­spec­tor Closeau from the Pink Panther films pale in com­par­i­son. Clearly, Jack Spar­row has had one bot­tle of rum too many. – Del­ton V. Cox

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