Joy, tinged with sadness at the wedding

When a child grows up and gets married, the parent feels joyful yet sad at the same time.

THE weeks and days leading up to the big day – my son’s wedding – were highly charged with emotions among the family members. Matters that were trivial became overblown, resulting in anger, hurt, frustration, and all the negative emotions that could possibly come by. Positive intent was constantly misconstrued, and meeting of minds seemed unattainable in most cases. Most times, all parties just had to walk away, heads shaking and hands up in the air. The constant solution was simply to “agree to disagree”.

For the first time in years, I was losing sleep almost every night. I wondered if all mothers go through the same thing or was it just me.

When my daughter got married four years ago, I was certainly sad to see her leave the family but there was no such turmoil. I was able to take charge of my emotions as the wedding day approached.

No one was more surprised than me that the elaborate wedding went extremely well, and there were endless compliments on how the entire ceremony had been organised. All the brainstorming and disagreement over various parts of the wedding ceremony obviously paid off.

At his wedding, something that my

son said in his speech caused a sharp pang in my heart. He said,

Mum, dad, I know that as I grow older,

I have become more and more difficult

for you to love.” Why would he say that? Why would he think that?

nly verb sing how he felt, or did all my children think this way, too?

As the children were growing up, they were willing to be taught and to listen. When they became adults, all things said to them had to make sense, be intelligent and logical. Even then, the children still had their own perspectives, causing the disconnect.

When both the parent and the child are strong-minded, conflicts will be inevitable. However, in no way at all do such conflicts result in diminished love for the child.

Although I noticed that the in-laws were sad to see their daughter married off, equally, I could not restrain myself from feeling sad that another of my children is now married.

Once married, whether son or daughter, first and foremost in their life has to be their spouse. That has to be. Everyone else has to take a backseat.

As a parent, I understand that, but it does not stop me from feeling the way I do and this is only natural. I will go through this same motion with each of my children once they settle down. It only goes to show how much I love them and this will not change.

So, my son, do not say to me that you have become more difficult to love as you get older. As your parent, I certainly do not want to become more difficult for you to love as I get older. The bond should only get stronger over the years.

I love you, boy.