One up on cancer
Facing cancer for a second time, this 28-year-old engineer is taking to Instagram to share her courageous journey as we mark Breast Cancer Awareness Month in October.
FOR someone who is confronting her own mortality, 28-year-old Vaishnavi Indran Pillai is exceptionally upbeat.
“I have cancer but it isn’t the end of the world. I am fighting for my life, yes, but I am still going to live my life to the fullest,” says Navi, as she is fondly known to family and friends.
Navi is undergoing chemotherapy to treat metastatic breast cancer that has spread to her liver and back bone. She’s completed her fourth course of chemo – “just two more to go” – which, she admits, is “no fun at all”.
Although the effects of treatment are often debilitating – mood swings, lethargy, hair loss – Navi isn’t about to let her cancer bring her to her knees.
Instead, by candidly documenting her journey with the disease on Instagram (@naviindranpillai), she wants to inspire hope in other women, particularly young women, navigating cancer.
Her social media feed chronicles the emotional and physical toll of chemotherapy on her body. But it also showcases her indomitable spirit and zest for life. It is raw and personal, revealing her determined struggle not to allow the disease to rip her life apart. Using the hashtag #kissedbycancer, Navi wants to show the world that she is, in fact, one up on cancer.
“I am grateful for my cancer. Cancer has taught me to appreciate life and not take anything for granted. Whether we are sick or not, everyone has a limited time and I hope my story will inspire other young people to live their lives and do what makes them happy,” says the young woman from Shah Alam, Selangor.
This is Navi’s second battle with cancer.
She was first dignosed with Stage Three breast cancer five years ago. At the time, she was 22, fresh out of university and eager to make her mark in the world. Instead, she found herself confronting a disease she knew next to nothing about.
“I was 22. You always think cancer is something that happens to older people but clearly, the disease does not discriminate. I didn’t know what cancer meant. Was I going to die?
“Could I just take the medicines and get back to life? I just wanted to get treated and get on with my life. I wanted to live a normal life like my friends,” she says.
Navi had to put her career plans on hold as she underwent a lumpectomy, followed by chemotherapy, radiation therapy, herceptin and hormone therapy. It was a tough period in her life and though she had the love and support of her family and close friends, Navi found herself floundering.
“I was lost and went through a period of depression. But somehow, I found the strength to fight. I think that in our darkest moments, we will find that inner strength that is within all of us,” she recounts.
In 2015, Navi was declared cancer-free. With her clean bill of health, she left for Melbourne, Australia, to pursue her Master’s degree in programme management and to start her life anew.
Things were looking good for Navi: she graduated in 2017, secured a job which she thoroughly enjoyed and was making new friends in the city she’d grown to love.
But an annual check-up while on holiday back home in July revealed nodules in her liver and back. Her cancer was back.
“The news hit me like a tonne of bricks ... it hit me even harder this time. I was really disappointed. I mean, I’d gone through all the treatments. I was better already. I was eating healthy food and walking a lot, breathing in the clean air in Melbourne. I’d just build my life up again and so it felt like another bomb had dropped. Why did it come back? I started to blame myself. What did I do wrong? I cried ... a lot,” she shares.
But having been through it all before, Navi picked herself up and made a conscious decision to not feel sorry for herself. She would take control of her life and help others like her.
“Maybe this was my purpose. I have always wanted to do something to help others and this was my opportunity. You don’t really understand what it’s like unless you’ve been through it and I have been through it. I can be that support for others. I was going to look at this positively and hopefully support others,” says Navi.
Since she started documenting her journey on Instagram in August, Navi has amassed more than 3,500 followers, most of whom are strangers who have been touched by her story and, the honesty and positivity of her posts.
“I started this to support others but honestly, the support I have received by people through social media has been amazing. The encouragement from people as I go through this has helped me stay positive
“Because, as much as I am determined to smile through this, it isn’t easy. There are days when I am really down and I want others who are going through this to know that it isn’t going to be easy.
“You can’t be strong overnight. But with support, you can grow strong,” shares Navi.
Losing her hair, she shares on one of her Instagram stories, was particularly hard.
“I’m still coming to terms with losing my hair but putting it out there has helped me deal with it,” says Navi who did a photo shoot showing her bald head and posted the photos on her feed. “The photo shoot was really for myself. I needed it.”
Also featured widely on her feed are her family and close friends whom, she says, are her support system.
“They are with me all the way. Can I please name them? My mum Shamala, my dad Indran Pillai, my sister Dena and her husband Aju Nambiar, our helper Kak Mun, my grandmother Navamany, godma Mala Nair and best friends Leo Rayan, Mala Kumaresan and Yamuna Sukumar.
“My chemotherapy sessions can last for six hours and they are often with me, cheering me on.
“One time, they played Monopoly with me while I was getting my chemo which helped take my mind off the treatment,” shares Navi.
Her godma and a friend also surprised her by getting one of her favourite Indian actors, Suriya, to record a message of support for her, even promising to meet her when he comes to Malaysia next.
“I mean it’s Suriya, lah. Technically, he has my photo on his phone and he wants to meet me and said I have a beautiful smile. I’m so excited. Suriya! It’s Suriya,” shared Navi who dreams of travelling the world, getting back to her passion of Indian classical dance and reaching out more to support cancer patients and survivors.
“I want to raise funds, I want to support those going through a similar journey as much as I can whether it is emotional, physical or financial support. At the moment, I’m doing this on my own, through my feed and by talking openly about my journey.
“Often people don’t want to talk about their cancer because they feel self-conscious. They don’t talk about their depression because often society expects you to snap out of it. But these feelings are real and I want to be that support for those who need it,” says Navi.