Saved from the brink of divorce
JOANNA C (not her real name) is an attractive 41-year-old who was facing marital problems and was generally feeling unhappy.
Joanna was introduced to her husband shortly after she moved to Kuala Lumpur and they married after a brief but intense threemonth courtship.
They settled into a routine marked neither by contentment nor obvious problems. Interactions were minimal and there was seldom any conflict. They have three children aged 11, eight and six.
As years passed, Joanna’s husband, now a project manager for a multinational manufacturing company, spent a lot of time travelling.
When at home, he was no longer willing to listen to Joanna.
Joanna tried to rationalise by saying her husband was merely stressed and needed space.
However, their marriage deteriorated when her husband started getting verbally abusive. He would slam the door and come out with a list of things she should be doing.
Joanna also experienced episodes of anxiety and depression more consistently when her husband was around.
With responsibilities to manage the household and take care of her children, Joanna was emotionally, intellectually and physically drained to the point she could do little more than meet her own basic needs.
Joanna’s friends rallied to help. They heard of Relate, The Centre for Couple Therapy, International Psychology Centre.
The centre offers individual psychotherapy, couple and sex therapy, as well as family therapy.
Over a few weeks, Joanna came in for sessions where she was taught how to communicate more effectively with her husband.
She was also taught to address her negative emotions through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Emotion-Focused Therapy.
Joanna was coached to better identify and flexibly manage her emotions. She also learnt how to attend to her children’s needs more effectively and facilitate them to cope with difficult situations.
Her husband was also invited to join her for couple therapy where the psychologist and couple therapist was able to help them to better understand and talk to each other.
Biochemical laboratory tests, such as the neurotransmitter test was also recommended to investigate any biochemical cause of Joanna’s constant anxiety and depression.
The lack of serotonin – one of the brain neurotransmitters or chemicals was one of the causal factors for depression.
Based on these results, a programme of psycho-nutritional supplements can then be recommended along with psychotherapy sessions.
In a matter of weeks, Joanna had made considerable gains – first, she and her husband were able to communicate more effectively.
Second, they were able to better support each other emotionally.
Most importantly, both are now able to live life adaptively and enjoy better relationships with themselves and the people around them.
This article is contributed by the team of psychologists at Relate, The Centre for Couple Therapy, International Psychology Centre.
■ For psychological assessment and intervention, contact Relate, The Centre for Couple Therapy, International Psychology Centre at 03-2727 7434, e-mail info@psychology.com.my or log on to https://www.facebook.com/ psychologyasia or http://www.psychology.com.my/ Couple-Therapy-Counseling/#