Birthday sentiments
I AM just not a birthday person, if there is such a label.
Some might say I am indifferent to it all, but I beg to differ. The saddest part is I just forget the dates and that is most likely due to my long-term aversion to numbers. I am fortunate that friends rarely forget my birthday. I sometimes think that I should feel this immense guilt that I don’t remember my friends’ birthdays. Not remembering birthdays does not make me selfish and uncaring because I really do try to make an effort to make a mental list of all these important dates.
I admire friends who seem to remember birthdays effortlessly although we do have to give credit to Facebook, which gives some of us a nudge in the right direction. I know this might seem like an excuse. But you know how they say every day should be Valentine’s Day? I think we should celebrate the birth of every single day we witness. It does not have to be a particular day of the year. Every day should be a Birth Day. We should wake up every morning feeling rejuvenated, having this feeling of gratitude to God because we have a special gift – another day to celebrate life. Ironically, I remember most of my birthdays. Some stand out more than the rest. My 16th birthday was quite special; it was after my back surgery and I felt alive. I could walk again and I did not have to wear the dreadful brace that was my constant companion for a year.
My 19th was with a group of friends at midnight – my last year at boarding school. It was like a Harry Potter secret meeting after lights out. It was hush-hush, everyone walking on tiptoes like ballerinas and we could not switch on the lights as we were petrified that our house mistress would come bearing down on us and the party would be over even before it began. Everything was done in candlelight. It was that time in life when you believed that the world is your oyster and you could achieve anything even when it was out of reach.
My 25th was in Tunis with mes amies (my friends) at a French school where I was learning the language. It was a surprise birthday party. What stuck with me was after the birthday my Korean friend invited me over to her house to sample the Korean delicacies she and her father had prepared for my birthday. It was the first time I had ever tasted Kimchi (fermented cabbage) and introduced to Gimbap (cooked rice rolled in seaweed), which became my all-time favourite Korean dish. My gift that year was meeting people from all over the world, as Tunisia is a melting pot of cultures. I will never forget the euphoria of seeing my first byline. I ushered in my 30th with a published article in a local newspaper in Malaysia; my article was a retrospection of the years gone by. I enjoy reflecting on the blessings of each year; it gives me a clearer perspective on life. Fastforward and a leap to 39 – this was funny and might seem odd to some because I was at home when my sister’s friend was visiting and she reminded me that it was my birthday. To say I was surprised is an understatement and she, on the other hand, was baffled at how I could forget something as significant as a birthday. It had completely slipped my mind. The whole family had forgotten because we had more pressing matters to worry about at that time. It did not bother me because I was with family and that was all that mattered.
For me, birthdays are not about ticking the items on the bucket list. That is someone else’s cup of tea. I would rather focus on the people who have made a difference in my life. When my birthday comes around each year, the intangible gifts such as acts of kindness throughout the year are my gifts for that day. Most importantly, these gestures of kindness are a great way to pay it forward.
This year, a couple of my friends looked sheepishly at me and mumbled that they had nothing for me. I told them that they had already given me their birthday gifts and the looks on their faces were incredulous. I had to explain it to them.
The gifts of the year given to me by friends are innumerable: the simple act of giving me a lift home from school every day; giving advice when I needed it the most; unwavering support when I felt the world was crushing down on me; helping me get a plane ticket to see my family whom I have not seen for years; believing in me when I did not believe in myself anymore; and for just simply being there. The list is endless.
Ultimately, the most cherished gift so far was Tuesday brunch with my best buddies – my family away from home. It was not a big affair, but a small and simple one with people who know me best. I was born on a Tuesday so it was an extra special day. Surrounded by people who love me unconditionally despite my faults is an incomparable gift.