The best, and the worst, of times

Our reader recalls her toughest years yet, and how she surmounted the challenges.

THE past two years have been the toughest for me, so far.

Every year you wish for a better year ahead especially when the previous year was a tough one. At the end of March 2017, I was retrenched. Despite having friends who had been in a similar situation, it never quite prepared me to face it when the same thing happened to me.

It was the best of times, and the worst of times. I was free from work-related stress. I exercised regularly, worked on my translation activities, and caught up with friends and family while job-hunting. In the words of my friend, I was “glowing”.

Although I knew I was going to be alright financially until the next job came along, I couldn’t help worrying four weeks into retrenchment due to societal pressure (something that I have now learned is not worth one’s time fretting over).

This was also the time I discovered how blessed I was, with family and friends who genuinely cared. Everyone kept sending job vacancy emails and links while helping to float my resume around. My youngest brother even kept following up with me on a vacancy to see if I had sent in my CV promptly!

Some friends took the time to prep me for the many rounds of interviews I attended. It was more difficult than preparing for a final-year exam at university!

All these efforts paid off four months later.

Therefore, at the dawn of 2018, I wished for an easier year ahead. A less eventful one if divine power permitted.

I had no idea what was in store for me. If I had to sum up 2018 in one word, it would be “roller-coaster”. And boy, what a ride it was!

The first quarter of 2018 saw me spending most of the time away from Malaysia. I was in a foreign land on a short-term work assignment. It was cold and rained almost every other day for the first two weeks of my arrival. Needless to say, I didn’t fall in love immediately with this new country. It was compounded by a tough working environment, one that I had not come across before. There, I learned that not everyone responded well to open communication and feedback, and confrontations could backfire – and backfire it did.

Upon completing the first leg of the assignment successfully, I wasn’t too thrilled at the prospect of returning for the next leg. I secretly wished for a roadblock to prevent me from returning. But I’m now glad that my wish was never answered for I would have missed the opportunity to meet beautiful souls who taught me a thing or two along the way.

To prepare for my second trip, I worked on a lot of mental conditioning. I knew I couldn’t control which card I was dealt with but I could definitely use it to my advantage to ensure the desired final outcome.

Lesson #1: You can’t change people or your environment but you can definitely adapt to the situation and use it to your advantage.

Every situation brings with it a silver lining; it is never all gloom and doom. While work was challenging, the people around me were amazing. The locals were among the most courteous and helpful people I have met thus far and that’s one of the reasons I kept going back to this land.

One of the beautiful souls came in the form of a colleague-turned-friend who constantly treated me to homecooked food and hot chai.

Through him, I learned that even the simplest of foods could be just as tasty. His signature dish then was tomato chutney (he created many more signature dishes down the road, thanks to his wife’s guidance through Facetime) and it became such a hit that I sometimes jokingly asked him to courier some to KL whenever I thought of the good old times.

The best food I tasted was a combination of hot fluffy white rice mixed with Greek yoghurt and slices of banana. Though I was sceptical, I was blown away at the first mouthful.

Many interesting and thoughtprovoking conversations were shared over cups of steaming hot chai, so much so that we depleted his stock of Wagh Bakri masala chai in no time. It became a heavily guarded commodity in his room!

Lesson #2: Comfort can be found in the simplest of food and drink, all made better by great company.

It was here on a full moon night exactly a year after retrenchment that I narrated my story to my new-found friends. One year ago this day, I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Lesson #3: Situations will improve. Never let hard times get the better of you.

All good things must come to an end and so I returned home in April, briefly, before going off on a twoweek holiday to London, Scotland and Paris. This trip took 10 years to materialise, partly because I never really planned for it. It was finally decided on a whim just two months prior to my travel date and it was quite an adventure.

I kept a punishing pace personally and professionally throughout the second and third quarter of the year until everything came to a screeching halt at the end of September. A nagging pain for a week which I dismissed as muscle soreness due to continuous exercise turned out to be something far more serious that required immediate surgery. I couldn’t comprehend what was going on and was in no way prepared for it.

Like any other human being, I asked, “Why did this happen to me?” One of the doctors said, “Bad luck.” Another experienced surgeon tried to lighten things up by saying, “You hit the jackpot!”

Someone else remarked, “Karma.” Needless to say, none of those answers helped me fix the situation. Post-surgery, I was out of action for six weeks. I was angry and down the first few weeks. I still couldn’t understand why this had happened to me. I exercised regularly, watched my diet and, at the risk of sounding holier than thou, bore no ill will towards others.

“So, why did I have to go through this?”

That’s when a dear friend pointed out that I will never get a satisfactory answer. Knowing why will not help me. Instead I needed to focus on my recovery and prevent a recurrence if possible.

She told me to channel my energy into writing, something I loved and had over the years neglected due to various reasons. I didn’t have to publish my private thoughts. “Just focus on regaining your positivity,” she further added. As difficult as it was, I went back to writing and reading, another favourite pastime of mine which was forgotten when work and life got the better of my time.

With nothing but time on my hands I found therapy in writing. I revived my blog and it helped me focus on good thoughts and positivity. Of course, it was never a bed of roses every day. Some days were harder than others but I kept trying. Friends kept in touch with me and constantly motivated me to overcome this situation. I was and still am a work in progress. But I found again my passion which brought me satisfaction.

Lesson #4: Asking “why me?” doesn’t help. Instead focus on how you can overcome the situation.

And the recovery continues into the new year. It has been a bittersweet year with as many highs as lows but, through it all, I learned the most important lesson: I was fortunate enough to have had the support of family and friends. There was always a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

There is no problem insurmountable if you set your mind to it. You are only beaten when you give up.