Can counselling help?
“I HEARD your child had some problems with his peers. Is your child going to see a counsellor?”
This is a common question that is often a topic of conversation among parents with troubled teenagers. The answer, sadly, is often: “No, not at all. She’s doing well in school and does not need any help.”
Counselling is a concept that is considered taboo and many do not feel comfortable when someone asks, “Why don’t you see a counsellor and get professional help?” In the Asian community, there exists a fear that should one seek the assistance of a counsellor, they may end up being labelled abnormal or mentally unfit to perform certain tasks.
Thus, to set the record straight, we need to make it clear that counselling is for everyone. Anyone who wishes to explore, understand and cope with the day-to-day stress that life throws our way will benefit from counselling. It is a collaborative process in which the counsellor works together with an individual to develop the skills she needs to face and deal with challenges and cultivate the mindset necessary to navigate some of the more difficult parts of life.
It needs to be highlighted that children living in this modern era find it a daunting task to handle their relationships, peer pressure, social media expectations and anxiety. With the change in our lifestyles brought about by constant development and challenges, our children are becoming more insecure.
Living in the virtual world does not help either. Instead, this only deepens their sense of loneliness and inhibits the development of much-needed social skills. In a The Star Online article titled More counsellors needed to tackle mental health, Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Dr Wan Azizah said, “A study in 2017 (in Malaysia) revealed that anxiety (39.7%), depression (18.3%) and stress (9.6%) were the three main mental health problems among schoolgoing teenagers.”
It is apparent that our children do not have the strategies to face and cope with these challenges. Often, they resort to selfharm, a perceived solution to the stress they face. However, counselling sessions can begin to address, for example, the underlying issue of low self-worth leading to self-harm. With only a few sessions, you sometimes see remarkable changes. Sometimes, the students only need to vent their disappointments and insecurities without the additional stress of an adult standing in moral judgment.
However, counselling is typically a slow and continuous process, during which the counsellor helps students develop their own insight and awareness, hence guiding them to discover their own answers to the problems they face.
When students engage in counselling, they often share that they feel lighter, energised, positive and hopeful, have learnt more about themselves and others and improved their relationships, were able to develop decisionmaking abilities and understand themselves better. They feel personally empowered and acquire coping strategies which help them become more confident and thwart any form of further distress.
American psychiatrist M. Scott Peck said, “Problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit”. In an ever-changing world, counselling should not be seen as a sign of weakness, but rather a sensible and practical approach in a world fraught with obstacles. – By Geetanjali Chhabra, head of counselling at elc International School ▪For more information on elc International School’s counselling policy, visit www.elc.edu. my/overview/counselling-policy