Fairytale wedding steeped in tradition
The writers detail the customs that went into their niece’s fine Punjabi wedding.
SEPT 21 marked a new beginning for my niece Shareen Kaur Kuldip who tied the knot with Alvinraj Singh Gill after a courtship of eight years. Our family and friends witnessed a beautiful wedding unfold, embedded in vibrant and colourful Punjabi culture and traditions.
My sister Iswander Kaur was well-prepared for this wedding as she was ably assisted by the bride-to-be who assumed an active role, looking into every detail and ensuring wedding preparations went on smoothly.
As the wedding date neared, invitations to family members and close relatives were sent out personally. In keeping with the Sikh tradition, my sister and her husband Kuldip tirelessly travelled to relatives and friends’ homes to deliver the invitations by hand.
The day finally arrived in September. The first morning ceremony on Day 1 began with the maiyan (cleansing ceremony) whereby family and close relatives massaged the bride-tobe with oil, yoghurt and turmeric on her face, arms, hands and feet, believed to give her a glow on her special day.
The bride-to-be then fed single ladies with mitay chole (sweet yellow rice) supposedly to pass some bridal charm, as it is believed that they will be next in line to tie the knot. This was followed by the mehendi (applying of henna) on her palms, hands and feet. According to cultural norms, the darker the shade of her henna, the stronger the love and bond with her mother-inlaw.
On the eve of the wedding, the sangeet event commenced. It was a night of feasting, music and dance. The pulsating beat of the dhol (Punjabi drum) filled the air and soon enough, everyone was tapping their feet. Invited guests from all cultures and backgrounds took to the dance floor, swaying to the rhythm of bhangra music.
Family members were giddy with joy and excitement as they participated in various ceremonies which included the choora involving maternal uncles putting wedding bangles on the bride after dipping them in milk. Also the jaago which literally means wake-up, that involved carrying oil candles on a pot placed on one’s head.
Centuries ago, when there was no electricity, this was the practice the night before, in the village, by relatives of the bride or groom, accompanied by folk singing and dancing as a form of open invitation to the wedding.
The bride’s colleagues and her netball squad wowed the audience with their sharp and energetic bhangra moves and colourful attire during the sangeet. They had diligently practised for two months for their dance performance. It was beautiful to see fellow Malaysians of various races coming together in unison in this dance and wedding.
On Day 2, the groom’s entourage from Port Dickson arrived in Melaka and was greeted by the bride’s family in a symbolic ceremony at the Melaka Gurdwara. Alvin was resplendent in his peach turban and matching sherwani; he looked like a Maharaja.
Shareen looked elegant and regal in her fuchsia and peach lehenga suit. All eyes were on the stunning and radiant bride as she walked down the aisle leading to the Guru Granth Sahib (scripture of Sikhism) and bowed.
The jovial priest was able to engage with those present by explaining the significance of the ceremony and making reference to our universal Creator.
The ceremony began with the Anand Karaj (wedding ceremony) with the main part involving reading and then singing of the Lavan (four hymns of Anand Karaj). After that, the couple joined hands that were held together by a piece of fuchsia cloth, and circled the Guru Granth Sahib for their nuptial rounds. After the fourth round, it officially marked the union of the couple as man and wife.
As the couple completed the Lavan, there was a priceless look on the newlyweds’ faces as they acknowledged and honoured each other. It was a moving moment for the bride’s parents, as Shareen was going to leave her childhood nest and move to a new family pasture.
Pieces of sweet ladoo were given to attendees by Iswander’s elder sisters.
The groom’s entourage, family and relatives of the bride then headed to a lunch reception at a hotel. After lunch, they returned to the bride’s house. The final event of the day was the doli ceremony, marking the bride’s departure from her parents’ home.
It was another emotional point as my sister and the bride hugged each other tightly and tears flowed.
Our relatives were equally moved as the occasion signified that my niece now has a new family base.
Nonetheless, the bride’s parents also now have a beloved son and assurance that their daughter is in good hands.
Before the wedding car departed from the bride’s house, the bride’s mum poured bandung onto the tyres of the car to signify a delightful journey. The groom’s dad tossed coins into the air and around the vicinity, to wish the couple prosperity in their future life.
The auspicious occasion not only symbolised the start of a new life together for the newlyweds, but also nurtured a strong camaraderie among relatives of the bride and groom.
All the 10 siblings of the Tara Singh family (including the writers) were there in full force to support and make the wedding a memorable occasion as we bonded, laughed and teared in the process.
The wedding remains a conversation piece within our family’s WhatsApp group, as we view pictures compiled by different members and read the wedding story board prepared by Shareen.
Lovely memories remain etched in our minds. We are still intoxicated from the precious and magical moments. It was truly an unforgettable wedding.