Community even in isolation
Lessons from this MCO ramadan and Hari raya season.
WHEN I first moved to Malaysia 13 years ago, I was immediately confronted with the complexity of the country. Not only was I trying to learn about a new culture, but I was trying to understand how Malaysia’s many cultures and religions interacted with each other. Fortunately for me, I found some local friends who took the time and spent the effort to teach this Mat Salleh a thing or two.
When it came to Ramadan and Hari Raya Aidilfitri, there were so many new things to experience: the variety at the pasar Ramadan, the collective experience of buka puasa ,thejoyof balik kampung and going from one open house to another until you can’t eat another bite.
Early on, a friend invited me for buka puasa at his masjid. That first experience soon led to my wife and I taking opportunities to break fast with Muslim friends as often as possible, even hosting them at our home.
Another friend invited us to his hometown for Hari Raya, which led me to buy my first baju melayu for the occasion. One neighbour invited me to join him and some friends to hand out food to the homeless in KL, and I stayed out all night with them.
As Christians ourselves, these experiences have been so valuable and eye-opening. It’s one thing to learn about other cultures or religions from a book, it’s another to be taken by the hand and led through them in your own experiences.
Over time, a lesson emerged: food and community are deeply connected.
Years ago, when I wrote for a food magazine, my wife and I had the joy of travelling from Perlis to Johor and eating along the way. We would find local vendors pouring heart and soul into their food, and I’d write articles about not only their dishes but the story of how they came to be.
Through the simple act of eating their food and listening to their stories, we found an immediate connection with these Malaysians who were strangers to us just minutes before.
When they served us what they had invested so much of their lives in, it was love on the plate. When we ate it with gladness and were interested in their personal experiences, it was receiving that love and valuing them.
Food is the Malaysian love-language and that feeling is never more apparent than during the Ramadan and Hari Raya season. This year, though, we had our doubts. After all, with the pasar Ramadan closed and social distancing in effect, how would connecting over food really take place?
When the fasting month drew near, something happened among the neighbours in our condo that we couldn’t have predicted: They brought the kampung to the city. Women from about 20 different families connected over Whatsapp and got organised.
Each day, one family would offer to make a dish to share with everyone else, and each day before iftar we would hear a knock on the door, be greeted by a friendly smile and handed a dish of something delicious. Sweet vibrant kuih on some days, savoury curry or meat dishes on others.
Each day, we felt the amazing comfort of community around us through the food we ate. In the midst of feeling isolated, disconnected, and just missing out on the fun of this season, we found that all those things are right here, living next door and down the corridor.
With the movement control order in place, many families in our surrounding neighbourhood are suffering and in real need of food. My wife and I participate in the Caremongering group, a grassroots movement initiated by compassionate volunteers desiring to feed the hungry during this difficult time.
Sometimes we just help with vetting or distribution, but from time to time we’ve also had the opportunity to shop specifically for those families in need.
Have you ever gone to the grocery store and shopped for someone else? It’s an amazing exercise in putting yourself in their shoes. What kind of food does this family prefer? What sort of spices should I buy so they can cook the way they like?
It would probably be much easier to just give money to them to buy their own groceries, but I found this experience of serving them especially enriching. As I thought about them and what they would want or need, even imagining them cooking and eating, I couldn’t help but feel more connected to them.
During this unique time in world and local history, we have never been more isolated from the communities we are a part of. With that challenge comes out-of-the-box opportunities to find community right where we are. Growing deep where we are planted.
For Malaysians, perhaps this means re-discovering the Malaysian-ness in those around you and sharing life with new people.
The feelings of solidary, camaraderie and community are not lost during this time and, in so many ways, I am humbled to witness the communal values of Malaysian society coming to the forefront. I am excited to see this spirit carry Malaysians through these hard times.