Happy meals
Parents of young children reveal the everyday realities of planning and cooking meals for their kids.
TWO weeks ago, I made a portion of tomato-based pasta, loaded with a medley of vegetables and organic chicken for my five-year-old and 20-month-old. When served their meals, response was unanimously good. “Yummy!” said my toddler while my five-year-old said I was the “best cooker in the world”.
Yet, the very next week when I whipped up the exact same thing, you would have thought I had upended the contents of a garbage can onto their plates. “I don’t really like this anymore,” said the fiveyear-old while my little one just kept shrieking “No pas-da!”
For parents of young children, meal times can often be laced with all sorts of trials and tribulations, largely because children are building and developing their palates and can be finicky eaters as they figure out what they can and will eat and what they absolutely – under no circumstances – can stomach. There are also many days when they simply cannot make up their little minds.
So how do parents navigate this and ensure their children are getting nutritious meals?
Cooking for kids
Thinking up meals for children can often be tricky. Many young children cannot stomach overtly spicy food and when they’re younger, health authorities also recommend limiting salt intake. For example, the recommended salt allocation for toddlers aged one to three is somewhere in the region of 2g (1/2 a teaspoon) a day, as opposed to 6g (slightly more than a teaspoon) for adults.
For this reason, many parents often forgo salt entirely. Makeup artist Cindy Hor, 43, for example, is a mum of two little girls – Kayla Lai, five and Kyra Lai, two. All her daily meals have been modified so she and her husband now eat the same meals as their girls – without any salt, MSG, soy sauce or added seasoning!
“They are still kids, so they don’t eat spicy food and if they do eat the same meal as us, I do not put salt or MSG. Even for the porridge that I make, I use chicken breasts to get the stock and I don’t add any soy sauce. So it’s very healthy, but my husband will say it’s a bit tasteless, so I will put the soy sauce bottle in front of him and say, ‘You settle it yourself!’” she says, laughing.
Hor says she decided to go down this route of healthy, unvarnished meals because she knows that her children will eventually succumb to foodie temptations as they grow older.
“They are very young, so I feel that there is no point giving them unhealthy food now. They will eat it when they grow up, so why start early? That’s also why they don’t eat fast food or even soft drinks until now,” she says.
Sharenjit Gill, 39, meanwhile is a freelance public speaking coach and part-time teacher who has one young son, three-year-old Erwin Singh. Sharenjit, or Sharen as she is better known, has made separate kid-friendly meals for Erwin since he was young to appease his tastes and predilections.
“I cook every day but Erwin has always had separate meals since he was a toddler. As he grew older, he started eating rice but I still don’t give him the same food as us. Instead, I always modify it to cater to his needs. For example, if I make a pasta, he doesn’t really like the look of the tomato sauce because he thinks it is spicy, so I have to cook a carbonara sauce for him, which he is happy to eat.
“There are some dishes that he will eat, like if we are eating fried rice, he will have that too. But if I am cooking Indian food, then he won’t have that, as there are loads of spices in it. So in that instance, I will make him a simpler meal like rice and soup with fried chicken,” says Sharen.
Sharen says she just goes with the flow in terms of what her son wants on a daily basis, as she doesn’t want to force him to eat meals that he doesn’t like and risk putting him off those foods altogether.
“Basically I just need for him to eat so he gets nutrition. Sometimes if he totally doesn’t want a meal, then I make something else that he wants. Like there was one phase where he was very fussy and wanted soup every day, so I would make it for him! I just feel that there is no point scolding him or forcing him to eat – it stresses the whole household so it is best to go with his needs,” she says.
Eating the same meals
For other parents, introducing meals that the whole family can enjoy together has been key to ensuring their children have nutritious meals that everyone can indulge in.
Business owner Joyce Lim,
35, for instance, has two daughters – Hailey Sun, five, and Hazel Sun, three. From the very beginning, Lim has been a big advocate of giving her children the same food that she and her husband eat.
“I believe very much in modelling behavior in children, so that whatever we do, they want to do too. I started them on baby-led weaning when they started solids, so they have always consumed what we eat and that works for us.
“The only instance when this is a bit different is when we have curries. So I might make a milder curry for them and a spicier one for us, because I can’t live without my spicy curries,” she says, laughing.
Fashion designer Hazel Loke, 39, meanwhile is a mum-of-one and has slowly been introducing regular meals to her foodie daughter Melody Wong, four, after first making separate meals for
her until she was about two years old.
“I cook three meals a day and Melody is quite good and eats about 90% of what I cook. I do tone it down a little bit but I follow her lead, so if she likes it, I make more of it. These days, she eats spicy food like curry and tom yam, albeit slightly milder than I am used to,” says Loke.
Loke says she is surprised that her daughter has taken to eating regular food so well, but now that they are going down this path, she is happy that she doesn’t have to make the bland, soft meals she was making for her before this.
“I didn’t expect her to be okay with all this spicy food, because I know a lot of older kids – even those who are 10 years old – who don’t eat regular meals! So I am just really happy that she has adapted to regular food and I don’t have to bother cooking separately for her anymore,” she says.
Regular meals or separate meals?
Much of meal preparation for young children boils down to the lengths parents are willing to go to. Some like Sharen feel that since she is lucky enough to have a flexible job, she can cater to her son’s food needs on a daily basis and make him separate meals.
“Some parents cultivate the habit where everybody eats the same meal, so that is much easier and more practical especially for fulltime working mums who can’t cater very much for different dietary needs. But for me, I have a little more time, so I can cater to Erwin’s needs,” she says.
Others, like Lim, meanwhile believe that children should be encouraged to eat whatever the adults are eating from as young as possible, so that they don’t become finicky eaters.
“Personally for me, I think cooking different meals for kids tends to encourage pickiness and fussiness, so I don’t find it necessary. That’s why I make sure there is at least one thing on the table the kids will eat – even if they won’t enjoy the other things I have plated up,” she says.
Loke meanwhile says she is lucky that her four-year-old has taken to eating regular food so well, but equally she is aware that not all parents have it so easy, which is why she believes that parents have to stick to the methods that work best for individual children.
“I think it really depends on the kids, because I have friends who have really fussy kids that only stick to a few safe foods and only eat certain fruits and vegetables or totally reject vegetables altogether whereas my child is always willing to try new things. So I completely understand why some parents cook separately and why some make regular meals,” she says.
What’s on the plate?
Nutrition and variety are the most important elements for most parents when feeding young kids who are only just beginning to discover new foods. Sometimes a meal gets finished and sometimes it doesn’t. But for many parents, as long as their kids have some good food in them, they don’t sweat the big stuff.
“It is too stressful to evaluate how much they are consuming in individual meals so I look at it on a weekly basis and see if they have had enough vegetables, meat and carbs overall. Because for some meals, they might only eat carbs whereas another meal they might just want the meat or only eat the veg. But even then, I never force them to finish their meals – if they don’t feel like trying it, I just drop it,” says Lim.
Lim says she does make an active effort to diversify her children’s meal portfolio though as she wants them to be adventurous eaters.
“Oh, we make everything from Chinese stir-fries to Indian roti and
curry to nasi lemak in our house. I also personally believe that one exposure won’t make them want to try it, so I do hundreds of repetitions and give them the opportunity to try. So I would say both my kids are quite adventurous – they will eat chicken feet, foie gras, crabs and durian!” she says.
Loke meanwhile says she tries to ensure that her daughter gets as much variety as possible in her meals, and also invests in organic vegetables.
“I have friends who are organic farmers so I am very particular that Melody only eats organic produce. And
I try and introduce lots of options in her meals, so for breakfast she might have granola with almond milk and lots of fruits, and then for lunch, maybe some porridge, fried rice or soupy noodles and dinner night be pasta or noodles. We eat mostly Chinese, Malay or European food and I make sure she has carbs, protein and vegetable in every meal,” she says.
Hor meanwhile places a huge emphasis on healthy meals and relies on her double boiler to help her achieve this on a daily basis, in terms of putting together meals for her girls.
“I use my double boiler to cook three dishes in one go – so I can boil rice, steam chicken and steam eggs for a single meal – everything is very fuss-free and healthy. Once in a while, I might have fried chicken because the kids love it, but I limit the portion sizes,” she says.