Taking the plunge to embrace cultural diversity
RETIRED police sergeant Inder Singh’s face lights up at the mention of Sarawak.
The state holds cherished memories for Inder, who was based there for a decade, and his family.
The Land of the Hornbills was where the 69-year-old met and married his wife, Harbans Kaur, 68, and where the couple’s two boys were born.
Inder, from Seremban in Negri Sembilan, arrived on Sarawak’s shores in mid-1973.
Fresh out of a three-month field force training stint in Ulu Kinta, Perak, the then 20-year-old cadet was deployed to Kuching.
Upon arrival, Inder and his fellow policemen underwent a one-month orientation programme.
From Kuching, Inder was sent to Sibu – some 400km away – to guard against communist insurgents in the Rajang river area.
As part of the Rajang Area Security Command (Rascom) headquartered in Sibu, regular patrol duties often took Inder deep into the jungle on both sides of the river.
“We would patrol the river by boat and our duties would also take us deep into the jungle where in the course of our work, we got better acquainted with the locals and stayed in longhouses,” said Inder.
Two years after his arrival, Inder tied the knot with Harbans Kaur, whose Punjabi mother was born in Kapit while her India-born father served with the Prisons Department in Sarawak.
The young Sikh couple’s nuptials, which took place at Gurdwara Sahib Sibu in 1975, was the talk of the town and even featured in a local English language daily.
Both Inder and his wife, who grew up speaking fluent Hakka and a smattering of Iban, said the annual Hari Gawai or harvest festival was among the highlights of life in Sarawak.
“Celebrations would go on for weeks with food and drinks offered to longhouse visitors.
“The Sarawakians practised the open house concept long before us in the peninsula and visitors were always welcomed with genuine hospitality,” said Inder. He added that visitors were treated as honoured guests and invited to partake in rounds of
tuak (rice wine) toasts with the
tuai rumah (longhouse head) on such visits.
Harbans fondly remembers the multireligious close-knit community of the police barracks in Sibu, something she misses.
Her children learnt to converse in Iban while the family was stationed in Sarawak. “I learnt to make Sarawakian food like kek lapis from my neighbours.
“In the months preceding Gawai, my friends and I would take a boat across the Rajang river to join in the padi planting and when it came to harvest time, we would all celebrate together, regardless of our faiths,” she said.
The couple left Sarawak with their two young sons in 1983, when Inder was transferred to Triang, Pahang, where he served for 20 years before settling in Seremban. Thanks to technology, they are still in touch with some of their old friends on social media and have made several visits to Sarawak since relocating.
They hope to return to Sibu in 2028 for the centenary of the
gurdwara they married in.
Finding common ground
For young couple Dr Tang Jeat Thong and his Sabahan Dusun wife Judith Quentine, bridging the cultural divide in their relationship took patience and some adjusting.
Common ground that brought this couple closer was their passion for saving lives – both are medical professionals whose paths crossed while serving in Kota Kinabalu’s Queen Elizabeth Hospital in 2015.
Although Dr Tang never imagined he would one day marry a Sabahan, Cupid struck and the 36-year-old Buddhist from Seremban fell in love with Judith, 31, a nurse of Christian faith.
Dr Tang said it was Judith’s beauty, grace, kindness and dedication to her patients that sealed the deal for him.
“After working side by side with Sabahans for almost 10 years, I have come to admire their hard work and dedication, which are traits my wife possesses too.
“Sabahans are very caring people and that is one of the reasons my wife makes such an incredible nurse,” he said.
Coming from different backgrounds and cultures, both Dr Tang and Judith learnt the fine art of give and take would go a long way in ensuring a successful union.
“It was not easy to adjust at first but I believe we have learnt from each other’s cultures and this appreciation and respect is something we hope to pass on to our children,” said Dr Tang.
The couple who are based in Kota Kinabalu have three children – a girl and two boys – aged between two and six years.
Their wedding involved a blessing by a Christian pastor in Sabah as well as a traditional Chinese tea ceremony followed by a wedding banquet in Negri Sembilan.
There is no shortage of festivals for them and their families to celebrate, from Chinese New Year and Kaamatan or the Harvest festival to Christmas.
“I am so glad that I met Judith and that our children are ‘hybrids’ who are truly Malaysian.
“Malaysia Day reminds me that as Malaysians, we are free to practise our own faiths and cultural traditions freely,” said Dr Tang.
For Judith, who hails from Papar, the diversity in a union of two people from different cultures also makes for a stronger bond.
“Because we come from different cultural backgrounds, I feel we work harder to understand each other and compromise more.
“The key to sustaining a happy cross-cultural home is mutual respect,” she said.
Judith’s parting quote is also one that should serve as a reminder to all Malaysians as we celebrate Malaysia Day: “It is time we embraced and respected our different cultures and traditions – whatever they may be – for a better Malaysia.”