‘Different backgrounds serve to strengthen bond’
children, have chosen to settle in a “neutral” state — Selangor.
While Jaimin is the chief executive officer of an insurance company, his wife has retired from teaching.
He said: “My relatives are always asking me, ‘When are you coming home?’
“I thought about it, and I do not have much in Sabah except for my relatives.
“Everything I own is here, I consider Selangor my home now.
“Home is where the heart is,” Jaimin said while pointing to Raja Hanani.
Meet in the middle
Negri Sembilan native Mohd Fadzillah Abd Rahman first saw Kuching-born Nur Aisyah Amenda Jennis at an event organised by the Axia Car Club in Kuala Lumpur.
That common factor of both owning cars of the same make became the starting point that got them talking and then exchanging cellphone numbers.
“I knew she was single and although we were friends only, I decided to invite her to my sister’s engagement ceremony in my hometown,” said Mohd Fadzillah, 36.
Nur Aisyah chipped in, describing that memorable first trip to Jempol.
“His parents and siblings assumed we were in a relationship.
“But we did grow closer, more so since his parents liked me.
“After that visit, we started going out together as a couple.”
They have been married for three years and have a toddler son.
“One of the happiest moments of my life that I will never forget is Oct 29, 2020.
“It was during my wife’s birthday and she surprised me with a pregnancy test and an ultrasound scan indicating she was pregnant.
“That news made me shed tears for the very first time in our marriage,” said Mohd Fadzillah.
Their different backgrounds only served to deepen the bond early on in their relationship as they made the effort to learn about each other’s cultures and understand one another better.
Nur Aisyah was already wellversed with a lot of things in the peninsula because of her many friends from there, whom she questioned whenever she was unsure about some customs and practices.
On the other hand, Mohd Fadzillah learned many things during his trips to Sarawak.
“I asked my wife many questions regarding the culture in her home state.
“I learned that Sarawak has many ethnic groups and they are respectful of each other,” he said.
Nur Aisyah fondly recalled how he had excitedly snapped pictures with her in the Bidayuh traditional attire, and shared it on social media.
Being of mixed parentage, it was not surprising that her family warmly welcomed Mohd Fadzillah, an information technology assistant chief.
He explained, “Her mother is Bidayuh and her father is Indian. There are other members of her extended family who are also in mixed marriages, so they are very understanding.”
Nur Aisyah added: “I was nervous at first about them meeting. But since my husband could chat with almost anyone, he was able to win my family over.
“When they started talking the first time they met, it was like they had known each other for years.”
Even though she came from a Christian family, religion had never been a barrier in the couple’s relationship.
“I became a Muslim in 2015, it was my own intention and not because of anyone else,” said Nur Aisyah, 31, adding that after their marriage, Fadzillah’s parents also guided her in Islam. Neither is food an issue.
“My husband loves Sarawakian food and my relatives would invite us over to their house and prepare halal food,” said Nur Aisyah, who is a nurse.
Her husband agreed, “I love food. I always try food from different cultures whenever I visit somewhere new. One dish in Sarawak that is a must-have for me is mi kolok.”
Nur Aisyah revealed that there is one type of traditional food her husband stays away from — sago worms.
“I showed him the worms and I could see the revulsion on his face, but he eventually touched it after much persuasion,” she said, laughing at the recollection.
What was a hurdle, at least on his part, was the language used when they visit his wife’s family in Sarawak.
Nur Aisyah explained, “When in Sarawak, I would speak in Bidayuh and every time I look over at my husband during the conversation, I could see in his face that he was clueless about what I was saying.
“But his grasp of the language has improved over the years.”
Looking ahead, Nur Aisyah admitted that she would like to retire in Sarawak if given the choice.
She quoted a Malay proverb “Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, lebih baik di negeri sendiri” which means “It may rain gold in someone else’s country and hailstones in your country, yet it is best to be in one’s own country.”
At the end of the day, though, Nur Aisyah said she would follow her husband wherever he goes, as “he is the head of the family.”