The devil is always in the denials
CLAIRE Brown has been feted and hailed, Xavier Justo is gracing our front pages and the Sarawak Report has officially become Gospel. And its hallowed text recently claimed that money from that secretive, reclusive and mysterious agency called One Man Destroyed Barisan, or 1MDB, may have been used to purchase anti-ageing products. Now the One Man Debt Bomb, or 1MDB, as the agency was affectionately referred to in certain circles, was well known for its philanthropy but anti-ageing products staggered even Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad. The premier had nothing against anti-ageing products for he was no longer a young man. Indeed, when he was a very young man, the Dead Sea had been merely having a slight cough. But spending lots of money – slightly over RM1mil according to the Gospel of SR – on less-than-scientifically-proven medication was beyond his ken. According to experts in geriatric medicine, longevity is mostly due to good genes and, to a much lesser extent, diet. The people of Okinawa, where an inordinate number of people have lived beyond a hundred, have never heard of anti-ageing products. They just called it fish. They also counselled regular naps to prevent ageing, especially while driving. Of course, way back in the 18th Century, the French had found a sure-fire way to cure grey hair. Unlike the Okinawans, however, they called it the guillotine.
So it looked like the low-profile, elusive organisation known in once-select circles as I May Donate Benevolently, or 1MDB, should have just listened to the Okinawans and settled for fish.
I suppose age is essentially a state of mind. When I was in my 20s, I didn’t give a fig for what the world thought: in my 40s. I constantly worried about what the world thought. Now I am in my early sixties and I finally realise that the world had never thought of me at all.
Life goes on but for that shadowy, enigmatic entity referred to in hushed tones as One Mega Disaster, Boy!, or 1MDB, life may never be the same.
Actually, there may be no life in it at all given Finance Minister Lim Guan Eng’s recent revelations that it had only one staffer over the past few years.
In fairness, the reticent and unrepentant entity referred to knowingly as One Monstrous Dollar Bamboozle, or 1MDB, was causing Lim sleepless nights.
Even so, he was a fair man and conceded that the enigmatic entrepreneur known as Jho Low always tried to live within his means even if he had to borrow gargantuan sums of money to do so.
And where was Fat Boy anyway? Nobody knew for certain as sightings of the rotund reprobate have become as rare as that of the Loch Ness monster.
And now that Malaysia has elected a new government bent on reform, we have the rating agencies warning us that getting rid of the goods and services tax might open Kuala Lumpur up to a ratings downgrade.
Isn’t governance equally important? Over time, the shortfall in government revenue will be more than made up by cutting graft, waste and bloat.
It may be timely to remind the agencies that they were partially responsible for the 2009 financial crisis – by doling out investment-grade ratings to numerous mortgage-backed securities. It was one of the reasons Lehman collapsed.
That surreptitious, stealthy symbol of swank known as I M Dead Broke, or 1MDB, didn’t need mortgage-backed securities to do just that.