Win­ning the World Se­ries can be wor­ri­some

The Star Malaysia - StarBiz - - Viewpoint - Speakeasy S. JAYASANKARAN star­biz@thes­

OVER a week ago, the Bos­ton Red Sox won the World Se­ries.

Ma­jor league base­ball in the United States has ap­par­ently never seen the irony of el­e­vat­ing their cham­pi­onships to a global level when only Amer­i­can teams are al­lowed to par­tic­i­pate in them.

The World Se­ries has no other coun­tries tak­ing part but no one in the US seems to think that might be a tad strange.

On the other hand, Clint East­wood does not find it strange that the Na­tional Ri­fle As­so­ci­a­tion (NRA) re­acts fe­ro­ciously to any lib­eral at­tempt to re­strict the sale of au­to­matic weapons to Amer­i­cans be­cause it might im­pinge on their con­sti­tu­tional right to bear arms.

On a point of his­tor­i­cal trivia, I don’t mean to nit­pick about the US constitution but I be­lieve that old Ben­jamin Franklin ac­tu­ally meant the right to “bare” arms, that is to say, the right to wear short sleeved shirts in any kind of weather.

But I was talk­ing about the World Se­ries, wasn’t I?

The cham­pi­onship has plenty of noble tra- di­tions as­so­ci­ated with it. Ac­tu­ally it was one main tra­di­tion: enough beer to float the Queen Mary. The tra­di­tion con­sists of the win­ning team – the Bos­ton Red Sox – be­ing given a rous­ing wel­come as they pa­rade through the streets of Bos­ton while the ex­u­ber­ant fans hurl full beer cans at them.

That’s al­most as strange as East­wood’s de­fence of the NRA, don’t you think?

Fans of win­ning base­ball teams in the US be­lieved in two things. They be­lieved in base­ball and they be­lieved they would have an­other beer.

That was why many Red Sox fans were hung over af­ter the team’s tri­umphant pa­rade through the streets of Bos­ton last Wed­nes­day. Team man­ager Alex Cora was busy dodg­ing beer cans but not be­fore one ac­tu­ally struck him on the head. At least half-dozen fans were sort­ing out le­gal is­sues stem­ming from ar­rests.

For some ar­rests, the po­lice didn’t even have to con­duct a breathal­yser test. A col­lege fresh­man was im­me­di­ately ar­rested af­ter he pleaded: “I swear to drunk I’m not God.”

There was one un­ex­pected ca­su­alty dur­ing the rev­el­ries. And it was the Cup it­self. The well-es­tab­lished tra­di­tions of day drink­ing and throw­ing full cans of beer up to rev­el­ling cham­pi­ons as their ve­hi­cles passed by re­sulted in the tro­phy tak­ing a high hard one to the base of the Com­mis­sioner’s tro­phy.

In his ju­bi­la­tion, Patrick Con­nolly, a col­lege fresh­man, hurled a full beer can at the win­ners. It struck the tram man­ager. Con­nolly was charged in Mu­nic­i­pal Court with be­ing a mi­nor in pos­ses­sion of al­co­hol, as­sault and bat­tery with a dan­ger­ous weapon – I told you so said Al­co­holics Anony­mous – and be­ing dis­or­derly.

But, why had the Bostin Red Sox won in the first place?

The an­swer lay in the fact that the team had an over­achiever’s share of left han­ders in its midst.

The rea­son­ing went like this. There are two hemi­spheres in the brain, a right one and a left one. The right one con­trols the left side of the body while the left hemi­sphere con­trols the right side of the body.

All these are sci­en­tific facts. What it proves is that only the left han­ders are in their right minds all the time.

And that was why the Bos­ton Red Sox won the World Se­ries.

— Reuters

Cham­pi­ons: Bos­ton Red Sox third base­man Ed­uardo Nunez hoists the Com­mis­sioner’s tro­phy af­ter de­feat­ing the Los An­ge­les Dodgers in game five of the 2018 World Se­ries at Dodger Sta­dium in Los An­ge­les.

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