Make sure no child is left out

WHENEVER children commit a heinous crime, there is much debate on whether the parents should also be punished.

More often than not, these “rude and crude” children are from underprivileged homes with an absent father or a single parent. Put simply, they receive little attention or guidance at home. It’s not because their guardians do not care but their time is probably spent toiling for a meagre salary as night watchmen, taxi drivers, and etc.

I have counselled many of them. For boys, it is usually an absent father (who has to deal with more than one home and children) or an indifferent or punitive one.

One school head I worked with began her “disciplining” by yelling through the microphone at the weekly assemblies on Monday mornings. She was so abusive that some teachers even tried to miss the sessions – by hiding in their rooms!

When these children go to school, it is hard for them to accept teachers who act unkindly in the name of discipline. Naturally, they find strength and support among others caught up in a similar situation.

One boy usually came late on Mondays. During the next period, which was mine, he explained his tardiness, “Who wants to be scolded early in the morning?” He was also often late for my class but I always let him in with a slight smile.

He could not read or write, and he was 14! In my science class, he was happy to use the magnifying glass outside the lab. Burning pieces of dry leaves using the sun’s rays pleased him immensely. He insisted on doing the same during every lesson. “There is no rain today,” he would argue.

Scolding and senseless punishment are not the right ways to discipline children. After some time, they just become immune to such treatment – and become worse. The problem is, teachers are not trained to deal with such children.

During my first year of teaching, I had a whole class of unruly students. I could not get through to them and I even suspected that they were slow earners. In order to understand them, and thus help, I visited a home for mentally challenged children. They were indeed different.

The caretaker told me that my students had a bigger problem – they were emotionally disturbed. These people need school psychologists and even medication.

One student, who turned truant from being a monitor of the class, told me, “Nobody noticed us when we were good.”

What these children need and want is attention, even if it is a negative one.

Another said, “My father doesn’t like me.” When I questioned him further, it turned out his father was a policeman who worked at night. A few years later, I saw him as a drug addict. He called out to me but I did not recognise him.

“Teacher won’t like to acknowledge people like us,” I heard him say to the young man sitting with legs outstretched beside him. It was then that I recognised the voice, much to my shock.

Most of these children do not like to attend school because they are branded stupid and naughty.

Teaching morals in schools will not help. Reading and writing about moral values will not make a youngster good if his environ- ment is not conducive to proper development. Students merely memorise the facts; they do not internalise the values. (One story in the moral book was about a fisherman who found a valuable pearl in a fish, which he presented to the king. As a reward, the king presented him with the princess!)

As for religious values, my students confidentially told me that their fathers would insist they go to pray at the stipulated time in the evenings, but they went to a nearby playground to smoke in the company of friends instead.

Mere insistence on being good is of little value. Let them do something positive that they are capable of. One set of such boys toiled for months in our school garden and transformed it miraculously. Many years ago, music and folk dance were included in the school curriculum. Music has a way of healing the soul. Dance, sports or any physical activity for that matter gives them something constructive to be involved in, and thus feel useful.

NIRMALA SUBRAMANIAM Sungai Buloh, Selangor