Let children choose their own path

TO lead a peaceful and happy life, a person needs two things: a nice job and a loving spouse life partner.

What would you do if your family and relatives do not understand and will not allow you to choose what you want in your life?

I’m a 27-year-old independent woman who dreamt of becoming a chemical engineer 10 years ago. This dream was crushed when I scored excellent results in SPM and was forced to do a medical degree because it’s expected in every Indian family. Children’s dreams are not given much priority because, according to our adults, at 17 years of age, we are immature. So, I struggled for five and a half years through stress and tears to finish my medical course and waited eight months for my job.

I completed my one-year house- manship recently but I still don’t have any passion for this job. It’s so stressful I cry and bury myself under the pillow the whole night as I think of getting back to work in the morning. Is this what my family want for me? Why don’t parents consider the feelings and needs of their children? Why are the adults not listening to their children?

In the midst of this stressful existence, there is the love of my life. He is a very nice man with a good sense of humour and we have been in a relationship for the past eight years.

As is the norm in our community, the relatives began to ask questions about my marriage plans as soon as I started working. So, my parents took courage and announced our relationship to the whole family. Their negative reaction was super-dramatic and chaotic and could have been plucked right out of an Indian movie.

And it was simply because my man is not of the same religion as us.

Again, the adult relatives didn’t consider my own needs and what I wanted in my life. Basically, my professional life is horrible and my marriage is in limbo now. I’m currently suffering from severe depression and living in sorrow.

Why do people like to make things so complicated when they can be so simple? Dear parents, please listen to your children. Don’t give in to your relatives. We live this life for ourselves, not for them. Let your children decide what they want in their lives. Speak to them and give them a chance.

DEPRESSED INDEPENDENT WOMAN Bintulu